Confused and need help!
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Confused and need help!
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 12:05pm |
I am going to attempt to make this long story short, so bare with me. Keep in mind throughout this that I am actually a mature 23 year old, while this story sounds very elementary. I met the guy I am sort of currently with in February of this year, making our relationship a total of 9 months, which sadly is the longest I have ever been in a relationship. We have never been in a commited relationship, we were apart for 3 months in the summer but still talked on the phone on a regular basis. I had graduated from school and he still has a year to go, so I decided to move back to go to graduate school and to be able to see him, in which we discussed me coming back. Things were going pretty well when we were back together, but because of our consistently busy schedules we decided that a serious commited relationship would not be smart. I am also pretty sure he hooks up with other girls randomly. I might also add because we have yet to commit to eachother I have not had sex with him, which he is not used to. Anyways we had a relationship talk a few weeks ago in which we decided we didn't have to define our relationship but we were not just hook-ups for eachother. Well after having this talk a few days later we were both at the same bar. His friend who I guess has wanted to date me before was flirting a lot with me. My guy saw this, and right in front of me totally drunk he kissed a girl. Although we are not in a commited relationship this hurt pretty bad. Well we talked about it a few days later and he made his excuses and apologized for what he did. In the mean time his friend has been calling me to do go out, and I have been going just as friends. He came over last week and told me my guy told him it was ok to go for anything with me. Devistated that he would give him the green light to do anything with me, we hooked up. My guy got really mad about this told me that the only reason he told his friend to go for it was because he wanted to see if I was scandulous enough to do it, that I failed the test, and finally shared his feelings with me about how he really liked me and he was sorry I felt so bad about him kissing a girl in front of me. He also went on to say that his friend told him I call him all the time to do stuff, which is totally not true. I also am pretty sure he does not know for a certainity that we did hook-up. Well my guy and I were text messaging a few nights ago and he told me because I hooked-up with one of his closest friends we were going to have to be friends. I replied that I thought that was ridiculous to ruin what we had because of misunderstandings, he replied we'll talk later. Frustrated I said you know don't worry about it, I feel horrible about what I did, I cared about you and I guess that meant nothing to you. Then I attempted to call him, and him being so stubborn didn't answer. When this happened I realized how much I liked him, and have been totally devistated about it, and we have yet to talk about it. I feel that he should call me since he decided to tell me this information through a text message. I have not ever really shared my feeling for him with him. Part of me doesn't want to because then I would be really hurt if he rejected me. I don't know what to say and I don't know if he will ever call again or what the deal is, if he really does care about me, or through our random times found some other girl. I just need some advice and if anyone has a clue as to what he is thinking that would be great. HELP!
Signatures On
| Wed, 11-10-2004 - 5:44pm |
Hon, like you said you both have a casual FWB deal. There is no exclusivity, no commitment, no obligation or responsabilities to each other. You both have sex and share conversations, walks, dinner and such, BUT there is no serious relationship by mutual agreement. What you both did was very immature, giving tests out and acting out of spite. At this point, think that if this guy did this -telling his friend to hook up with you- can you be with him in a serious relationship? Can you trust him? I think not....but that's me. You can either talk to him and explain that you want a serious relationship, wait for him to say "yes" or "no" OR walk away.
