confused and sad again

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2004
confused and sad again
4
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 3:52pm
I just poseted another message but wanted to clarify a few things here. I am not young 33 and the guy is 39. Well he said that a healthy relationship has sex in it. I know he did care and still does because even now he will call to see if everything is ok. He has always said that he is a "horndog" loves sex. The reason he didn't want to wait to make love is because he says that he is not getting any younger. Now he tells me that he wants someone who want to have kids with him. That never came up in our relationship. The funny thing is the woman he went out with the other night has 5 kids. When I said do you really think that she will have a kid with you she has 5 he got mad at me. I always thought we were good for each other and still could be. He is making me see the person inside of me that I want to be. Break out of my shell so to speak. As I said in the earlier message i want him back. Can anyone help me?
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 4:28pm
What was that commnet you said he made in your first post? That if you had sex with him, he would give you the world? Puhleeze...

There's a reason why you hesitated, and that's it... this guy can't do any more for you than you can do for yourself.

He's not getting any younger? As long as he has at least one hand, he knows what to do.

Drop him.

A~

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 4:57pm
I'm going to agree here. He's just trying to get you to give in to him, and then I bet once he's done with his conquest, he'll move on. Why would he give you the world just for you giving him sex? The guy should be giving you the world before sex is even on the table! Yes, healthy relationships have sex in them- BUT mature adults do not play games and pressure others to get sex! That's a teenager, not a 39 year old man!

I think you're just missing the IDEA of what this man COULD bring to you, and not the MAN himself. He's a selfish jerk who cares nothing for you, or he wouldn't be holding things over you like that. If he was a decent good hearted person he would be waiting until you were ready for that next step, not berating you for not making it.

You are wise to stick to your values. Follow your heart.

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 7:46pm
This is so sad. My guess is that you haven't dated much in your life. If you had, by the age of 33 you'd know he's been giving you a line of BS. Teenage guys will use the horndog line and tell girls that they can't control themselves, that if the girl doesn't give in he will suffer extreme pain, that if she really loved him she'd prove it by having sex with him. The naive girls believe that nonsense. Your guy is doing the same thing, except that he promises gifts and says he's not getting any younger. His lines are ridiculous as any wise woman knows. Your naivity is not something to be ashamed of, but honestly most men his age wouldn't even try those lines on a woman. The fact that he's saying these things to you indicates that he knows how inexpereinced you are and is trying to take advantage of that fact.

This man is wrong for you on so many levels but you can't see that because your limited experience has blinded you. You know that if you called and told him you were lying on your bed naked waiting for him, he'd be there in a flash. You can get him back that way, but you won't get the man you *think* he is, you won't get back what you *thought* your relationship was, and he won't marry and raise a family with you. He isn't what you've convinced yourself he is, and I hope you won't learn that the hard way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 9:12pm

A healthy relationship has sex in it, if BOTH people want to have sex.

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