Confused - where to go from here?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2007
Confused - where to go from here?
12
Wed, 06-13-2007 - 1:02pm

Hello everyone!

I wanted to post my "situation" on this board to get some objective advice :)...and because you all seem very knowledgeable!! So here goes....

I met a guy about a week ago, and we clicked right away. He is three years older than I am but we are both still in our 20's, we have a great deal in common, and both felt comfortable with each other right off the bat. So we hung out last mon. and tues. (tues. night kissed/made out but really nothing more). He texts me all day long, everyday, and we talk on the phone about twice a day for about an hour each time. I didn't see him again until Sunday (crazy schedules!) and everything was great. He had talked about things in the future with us, I thought, indicating that he was looking for a relationship.

Monday night he tells me that he did some thinking and is not ready to date anyone right now because he just started a new job (it is a very stressful job) and just got out of a relationship a few months ago, and wants to get his life set and in order before trying to manage a relationship. He said that there was definitely a connection and attraction, but he felt overwhelmed with everything going on in his life and he didn't want to jump the gun in a relationship and needed some personal time before jumping into dating. He said that he loved hanging out and wanted to stay friends and take things slowly and that he thought things were moving too fast. So I took that as a nice way for him to say "adios" and was ready to move on. Well he then changed the subject and we talked for another hour....the whole time he was making comments that would be made in a dating relationship, NOT a friendship. THen he said, okay I will text you in the morning and during the day and call you tomorrow night...

Huh?! Needless to say the conversations yesterday were still full of flirty comments, like nothing had changed.....

Sooooo....what is this girl to do? I told him that I would still like to be his friend, but now I am confused as to what is going on. Is he just confused, scared, overwhelmed? Do I stick it out and see if something develops? I am in NO rush to be in a relationship so I don't mind seeing how it plays out, but I don't want to engage in self-torture here ;) Sorry this was so long, but these things are never simple :)

Thanks!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2005
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 8:31pm

You're right. If I had to do everything by a book, I'd probably throw the book at the guy! It seems the book is trying to tell women that "nice girls finish last" just like "nice guys finish last". You have to just be yourself and open to different types of people. Some will make a perfect match, some don't.

My not calling this guy has nothing to do with control or manipulation, just plain getting on with my life. Why he is not calling has now become way beyond my adult comprehension. He might as well just get a friend to stop by and tell me what's on his mind, lmao.

I can be a B#tch for a number of reasons. My motto is I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, and there are only a few who have been on the latter end. I prefer to just be me, a nice girl looking for a nice guy.

PATTY

~Dare to believe in yourself~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-30-2006
Mon, 06-18-2007 - 9:11pm

"My motto is I can be your best friend or your worst enemy", hehehehe.

I agree, you gotta be you. There is a sequel to the book, Why Men Marry B#tches, but they were sold out of that book. I need to sneak a peek at that book too.

I have never thrown anything at a guy, but I have sure been tempted. I once threw my cell phone on the floor of my car after a frustrating phone call, but I don't like breaking my belongings, especially over something like a GUY. What a waste!!

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