Confusing post-date email from guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Confusing post-date email from guy
5
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 8:24pm
I went out with a guy for the first time, and we both had a fun time. He emailed me a few days later saying that he enjoyed talking and that "We should get together again at some point." He also said that "If nothing else, you seem like you would make a great friend." I'm not sure how to interpret this email. Doesn't it sound like he's not eager to get together soon and just wants to have a friendship instead of a dating relationship? How would you respond to this email?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 8:36pm

I would take it as him being unsure whether you are interested in him romantically and so he's hedging his bets.

Is this the guy you were unsure whether you were attracted to? Perhaps he picked up on that.

If I were interested in him romantically (or at least *potentially* romantically), I'd write back saying that you would be very interested in going out with him on another date (use the word "date" so your intentions are clear) and you hope to hear from him soon.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 8:48pm
Yes, this is the one I was unsure of, so perhaps I gave the wrong impression on the date. When I was on the date, I wasn't sure if he was interested in me either, because he had to leave after one hour to be with some other friends, and he didn't say anything about wanting to see me again. That's why I was confused about how to interpret the email. I'll take your advice about writing him back, and see what he says.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Mon, 04-17-2006 - 8:54pm

<< He emailed me a few days later saying that he enjoyed talking and that "We should get together again at some point." He also said that "If nothing else, you seem like you would make a great friend." I'm not sure how to interpret this email.>>

I'd agree that it isn't the most EAGER sounding of emails ... but, he may not have a clear idea of whether or not you're interested ... so, instead of laying his cards on the table and asking you out again, he might just gauge whether or not to ask you out on a second date by your response to his email.

As you said, you weren't sure if you were that interested in him. He probably picked up on that, and as Sheri said, is hedging his bets.

<< How would you respond to this email? >>

If you DO want to go out with him again, just say "Sounds good. Perhaps a second date sometime soon? ;-)" ... if he doesn't want a second date, he won't call or write back. But, if he does ... there, you've given him the green light.

Guys aren't always that sure of what we think of them! Especially if we're not giving them clear signs that we're interested. Nor do they like rejection any more so than we do. They don't have all the answers, either, kwim?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 12:10pm
It sounds like he enjoyed your company but at this point he's feeling more of a friend vibe
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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2003
Tue, 04-18-2006 - 2:32pm
It sounds like he's not keen; I've had post-date dumping emails like that; they don't want to just disappear without saying something (men are, after all, cowards) and are too cowardly to say they aren't attracted to you etc so they do the classic 'let's be friends' line. I think I have actually had one write almost exactly the same words as your acquaintance wrote to you in fact.