confusing signals
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confusing signals
| Wed, 05-19-2004 - 7:27pm |
i have been seeing this guy for a few months now, and at one point he said hes afraid of commitment and he wont be ready for a long time. He also said that it wont work between us because of the age thing ( im 20, hes 27). But then a few weeks ago, he came clean, he told me that he hadnt admitted to anyone or himself that he likes me more then he wants to. That i am beautiful and that he is lucky to even be kissing me. He said that we should date for 5 years and then maybe get serious. He said that we arent ready to be g/f and b/f YET. And he stressed that. He said that if i wanted to break this off and just be friends that i should because he doesnt want to have anything to do with hurting me because i am too good of a person for that. But the only time we spend together is sleeping together. I really dont know what to think at this point.. help!

I doubt it..and so does he.
So basically, here is what he's saying.....you're an attractive person and you're lots of fun but what i don't want is to limit my options or oportunities in ANY WAY in life right now. I wantt o be free to pursue my education, my professional advancement, if I see a eautiful woman - I want to be free to pursue her for a night or a weekend. I do NOT wnt a girlfriend whre I am obligated and committed ot her and to meet her needs appropriatley and consider them at all times when living life on a daily basis.
But, you're sweet, pretty, young, and nice, I don'tw ant to string you along and make you think that tomorrow or the next day we might start officially dating rather than just hooking up and hanging out - so I'm telling you now that won't be happening. I won't be considering dating you for at least 3-5 years, Iwon't consider getting serious with you or about you, about meeting your needs or considering your needs for 3-5 years.
Ifyou want to hang around, not dating others, letting me do wahtever I wnat, with whoever and however, wherever and so on that I want to do that meets my needs and goals with no regard to you - you do it. Because you're a real hottie and if in 5 years I haven't setled down with someone else, or made babies with someone else, or gone off to another country and gotten a position of acclaim professionally - if we're still hanging out and hooking up in 5 years and I still have not had to consider your needs and your wants at all and if I still have been in this no obligation to you dynamic...I might consider making a commitment to "not having obligations".
He's doing NOTHING but sleeping with you...because that is all he wants to do with you. With is friends, he's out drinking and sharing interests. I can almost assure you there is a woman his age, professional and personally more established that he's "dating" - he has to wine and dine herand can't get laid yet - because she won't without some exclusivity arrangement, or obligation on his part.
And so you're a hottie sweetie - who's willing to settle for whtever attention he provides, with no obligations on his part to you, or you needs - except in bed, whenever he wants.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
You are being had. IF you were into having a sex when it's convenient, but not have a friend or companion to call at 2 a.m. or someone to be there to listen to you gripe about your day and rub your toes...go for it.
Is the sex that good that you can ignore what you're NOT getting? The longer you hang out with him, the longer you put off finding someone who is interested and willing to be your everything.