Confusion...please help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-27-2005
Confusion...please help.
1
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 11:19am

I love this guy in my life, but he has asked me to move on for my own good. His feelings don't seem to be strong enough. I am nursing a broken heart, and trying to date other people. Yesterday, we talked, and I ended up telling him about the new guys in my life and what they have been doing to show their interest and when I am meeting up with them etc. I then told him that I don't know why I am giving him the details, but I feel uncomfortable if I keep anything from him. That I am just letting him know what is exactly going on in my life.

Is this normal? Telling the guy we love about our current dating scenario? But when I talk to him, and stay silent, I feel I am hiding things from him, and it makes me really uncomfortable. To me, even a white lie is a lie. And I can't lie to him. He listened to all that I said, very silently. He did not say anything.

Please help.

I am really, really confused.

Our talks have reduced quite a bit but we still end up talking. It's usually me who calls. He calls too, like yesterday. Yesterday, I asked him when he will visit with me....that I want to spend an entire weekend with him. (We live long distance. He has to fly to get here) Gosh, why did I ask him that? Stupid of me after he has already asked me to move on. And he said "Let's see...I don't know yet". I am really making a mess of my life. I am still in love with him :-(. Sometimes, I wonder if he has feelings for me too, and whether he will one day confidantly want to be with me. I am afraid of a situation when he will visit me and when I am dating someone else. Bad situation!

Avatar for dani20002000
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2000
Wed, 09-06-2006 - 3:24pm

If he's told you to move on becusue he doesn't share the same feelings that you do then you shouldn't really be communicating at all with him. I understand that you still have feelings for him and that those feelings don't just disappear but you're just better than that. Don't you feel that you deserve better? You won't be able to move forward if you don't leave him behind. The reason that you feel the need to fill him in on your dates is because you want to evoke a reaction from him. You probably want him to feel a bit jealous and then maybe he'll come back to you. That's just a vicious cycle and you need to stop or you'll end up feeling even worse in the end when you don't get the reaction you're expecting. Move forward~let him go.

~Dani~

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