coping with coupledom
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coping with coupledom
| Sun, 02-29-2004 - 9:57am |
I just read the article about the girl who couldn't understand why she was so clingy with her boyfriend and I totally identified with it. That is absolutely me, but now I am definitely going to work on that and find my own life separate from my boyfriend. Here's my problem: We've been dating for two and a half years and we are very happy. I've always known that he wants topursue a career in acting and move to New York, but now we have a date set for moving up there and I am getting hesitant. I feel guilty about leaving my family (I am the last of the kids to leave home). I really do see a nice and adventurous future for us, but I worry too. He says he has no worries about our future. I really hurt him last night, too, when I told him that I was making a grand gesture by leaving my home to be with him and I haven't seen an equal sign of comittment by him. Once I thought about what I said, I realized that I didn't even mean it. He was very hurt and I genuinely apologized, but I still feel bad. I don't think he's quite understanding my feelings because I don't fully understand them myself. I love him and I want to build a life for him, but sometimes I just wish that our life together could be more simple.
Help! Are these feeling normal for a person?

Hi
Of course it's normal. I don't know where you live now but pulling up stakes and moving - especially to NY - is exciting but also scary. You were correct in saying you're taking a huge step by moving to be with him. You want to feel secure that he sees the two of you together long-term. That is not hurtful toward him but healthy toward yourself. What are you going to do once the two of you move? Is there a career you are pursuing as well? Do you have a desire to move to NY or is it just for the sake of him and his career?
There's a lot of great things here but if you're not the type who would love it, living here could really be a drag.
Keep us posted...