Creating "Chemistry" with A Friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2004
Creating "Chemistry" with A Friend
2
Fri, 04-30-2004 - 8:54pm
I recently began dating a really great guy - a couple of weeks ago we were getting pretty hot and heavy and it was VERY obvious that he was aroused. Then suddenly, it was "bye-bye boner". He tells me that he really likes me, but feels no chemistry with me. (If not, what was the hard-on about?) We're "friends" (he's a really cool guy) and has recently began making rather sexy comments during our conversations. What can I do to "inspire" some chemistry? (Short of dropping to my kness and going down on him - that's a too little obvious.) If I can't inspire anything, is it possible to remain friends with him even though I have sexual urges for him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2004
Sat, 05-01-2004 - 7:23pm
Sounds to me like he's either trying to figure out if he's gay or not, or he has some psychological problems. That's the number one reason men have erection/ejaculation issues.

I've seen the erection/ejaculation issue in a few men myself, and well, I'd rather be with someone more emotionally available for a relationship. When a person has such severe lack of confidence, it's very difficult for them to relate to others in a mature adult manner.

Anyway, it's really messed up that he's dating you, and he tells you there's no chemistry.

What else is he going to blame on you?

There is one other thing - alot of guys find overt sexuality in a woman unappealing. Alot of them would literally get up and run away if a woman dropped to her knees in front of him. I mean, it's not like you are a stripper, porn actor or whore, right? Despite what we see on MTV, those are still marginal aspects of society, so women don't need to feel pressured to behave that way.

Besides, there are plenty of "self-starters" around!

Good luck

p.s. sorry if my bluntness makes anyone angry

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2003
Sun, 05-02-2004 - 10:01am
Hello laurieanneporter, welcome to the board!