crush help. confused

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2006
crush help. confused
3
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 2:23pm

hi. i need some suggestions. i just got out of a 2 year relationship and has been dealing with this "crush" at work. i used to like this coworker, jake, who now is my manager. (he's the same age as me) in the past, i didn't care too much about my feelings for him because i was already in a relationship. when i recently broke up with my ex, another co-woker tells me that jake likes me. my feelings for him got a bit stronger because of what my coworker tells me. the thing is jake already has a girlfriend, seven years into their relationship. from what i've experienced, i do think jake likes me because he would say things to me like "was that your ex i saw the other day? you want me to beat him up for you?" jake would get protective of me like "let me know if chuck (my coworker) is bothering you." he would always try to sit next to me, even though he doesn't say much. he'll buy me coffee and stuff. when we talk on the phone, sometimes he'll sound really sweet. we're talking more now because he's my manager, i would often have to call him up to ask him work related questions. sometimes i get analytical of his actions. most of the time, it doesn't feel like he likes me. sometimes it does.

anyways, i'm not going to pursue him because of his current relationship status. but what do you think is going through his mind? is he just messing with me 'cause he's "bored"? i don't think he's going to pursue me either because he just recently bought a condo with his gf. but what's up with all these signs? could he be considering getting out of his relationship? i doubt it though.

**do guys like it when a girl worries about him? for example, if the guy hasn't called back for hours and the girl tells him she worried. would he appreciate it?"

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 4:29pm
Tsk.
How old are you?
Anyway. The guy is your manager and the guy has a relationship with his girlfriend of seven years with whom he just bought a condo with????
Ding, ding, ding. My bells are ringing. Are yours?
He's just probably giving you a hard time. He means absolutely nothing by it.
Why would he throw away a seven year relationship with someone he has invested money into a condo with? Why would he risk his management position?
You're vulnerable right now and you can't see the forest for the trees, probably.
Danger, danger, danger. Do not think no more of it rather than someone picking at you and probably every other girl there. It sounds like his friendly nature, to me.
He has a girlfriend and he sounds like he's invested alot into the relationship and he's your manager. Leave it alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 4:48pm
It sounds to me like he just wants to flirt. You like him and he's picked up on that. He most likely flirts with others as well. Flirts will flirt with whoever responds to them. The only girls they don't flirt with are the ones who ignore them.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Tue, 02-28-2006 - 7:37pm

Does it really matter what's running through his head? If I were you, I'd shut that thought process down. He's involved with another woman. The fact that you're even wondering what he'll think or feel if you do certain things is a warning sign... He's also your manager. Keep reminding yourself of that and keep all your interactions strictly professional.