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| Fri, 10-06-2006 - 12:48pm |
I have been dating this guy on and off for over a year..I just know he;'s not for me. We are both 20 and in college and I have told him that i dont like when he walks in front of me, cuts me off, and doesnt offer to pay. Over the last year I have told him my troubles w him and he has been trying to work on them. They also incude him being a distant different arrogant cocky person when we leave campusor go visit his family..he just turns into another person. I have tried to break up w him like 6 times but it never lasts bc he always tries to get back and wont let my answer stay..I realized I like his "affection" more than his personality I guess..its hard to break up w him bc im so used to him and im sure if i tell him again he will be like yeah ok, ry and convince me and then we would be back like in a month...he never give sme time to get over him, plus I think the whole campus thinks we r together even tho we r not officially now. This guy even asks people about me like in detail to find out about me behind my back..I dont wanna know this..he goes to parties, SEARCHING for me. So..I like the phsyical aspect but maybe i should end it Thing is, he wont let me..he never does..and hes hard it all before. We had fun last night..in regards to "fun affection." I couldnt stand him when i first saw him last night.. when he was w my friends. he was so socky and arrogant but then when we r alone i like his affection. What do I do..I dont like his cocky arrogance...and why does he do this when we go out for dinner or to a movie..I explain to him what i dont like but he repeats it slightly..even tho hes getting better. How do I not fall into his traps? I dont wanna be lonley I guess.

once you break up with him and mean if - as in dont fall back into his bed - he will stop pursuing. dont take his calls,try to avoid him as much as possible on campus - it's unfortunate you're at same school- tell people NOT to give him info about you.
is there a counseling center where you could see a therapist to help you get out of this once and for all? And the answer is not to leap into another relationship but to get to know and respect and like yourself as an individual first.
You said that "he wont let me..he never does," but really hon, it's who you doesn't allow the breakup to occur. You give him a reason to come back and then you fall for whatever he's saying. Ultimately it's YOU who has to commit to the breakup, not him. You're getting something out of him running after you. One thing you said was affection, but there may be more.
Now if you're serious about breaking up with him, then do it and refuse all contact. If friends tell you he's been asking about you, tell them you don't want to hear about it. You have to treat this like an addiction--remove yourself from all possible influences that will help you to fall back.
Good luck. If you need us, we're here. Keep us posted.