Damage Control- For an Idiot Move I Made

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
Damage Control- For an Idiot Move I Made
1
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 1:27pm

Hi:

I wanted to get your advice on my following situation. I finally broke up with a man who I have been taking care of for the past 7 months. He has a less than perfect past. He currently violated his probabtion, does not earn any real money, does not show me any real gratitude or love for all I have done. Now, you are thinking why in the hell I got involved with him. Because he painted a picture of all that I wanted to hear. I would of never gotten involved if I knew what he was really like before I fell in love with him. I mean I live in a different world than he does, a professional woman who wants to accomplish things in life. To make the long story short, I got into this depressive state feeling emotionally bad about the fact I had asked him to leave my home and having fantasies that maybe it might work and he would come around. Well I called him and he basically rejected me telling me I treated him so badly when in fact it was the other way around. I cried and begged him to meet with me too talk. I realized I did this out of loneliness and desperation to feel comfort from someone. I was being pathetic, but my emotions got the best of me.

The problem is that I have empowered him to believe that he was in the right. That he was together when in fact he wasnt and I felt used. All the repeated attempts to call him last night only made him feel like he is the victim and I am nothing but a lousy woman. I gave him the power to believe this because of my desperate phone calls.

I am mad at myself for doing this. Is there anything at all that I can do to take this layer of power that he blieves he was right from under his feet? I kills me to think I have given him that satisfaction especially since I know he was never the right man for me and he was not a very good person to begin with.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Tue, 12-07-2004 - 1:44pm
To men a woman expresses her high self esteem by automatically losing interest in any men who don't treat her the very best. She expresses her self worth by her disappearance, and her absence of close, personal engagement. The more you "talk" to him the more he knows just how valuable HE is to YOU and the more he has "power" over you.


Edited 12/7/2004 1:49 pm ET ET by isosad