Dancing
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Dancing
| Wed, 11-30-2005 - 12:09am |
Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 4 years. Everything is pretty good in our relationship, except one thing. When he goes out to the bar he dances, with every and any girl possible. And it seems like everytime he goes out, we fight about this subject, over and over. And I mean it isn't just "dancing", it is dirty dancing, slow dancing, pretty much every dancing imaginable. He says he just does it cuz he likes to dance, which he does, but I don't think he should have the right to do that and for me not to get mad about it. Am I just overreacting? Do other "committed" guys do this? Is this normal? Please help!!

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He has the "right" to do whatever he pleases, wishes or feels justified to do. He's an adult, thus, it is within his rights. That said, is it considerate? No, not so much. Are you going with him, or you have you just heard about his "dirty dancing" rather than seeing it first hand? I mean, the way you've described it, that would be pretty ... um, well, inconsiderate ... to be dirty dancing and slow dancing with girls other than you. A dance or two ... I could understand that. But, all night long! While you're there? But, if you're not there, where are the reports of all this dancing coming from? (him or others?)
Just curious.
Why doesn't he dance with YOU? Do you not like to dance?
Sheri
<< Do any of you have a boyfriend who just plain and simple likes to dance? >>
No, I don't have a BF who plain and simple likes to dance ... but, I'm a woman who plain and simple likes to dance.
When I go out without my BF and there's music, sure ... I'll dance. Sometimes, I'll dance with other guys, but not in a way that I'll let them touch me inappropriately.
Othertimes, I will dance where my BF is ...he's a musician, so he's playing, I'm dancing ... it's all well and good. And, yes, I'll dance with guys ... sometimes ... though, most of the time, I'll just dance with the girls, mostly because I don't really enjoy dancing with guys I don't know ... but, if I do dance with a guy, MOST of the time, he knows who they are ... sometimes not, but that's basically my choice because, as I said, I don't really like dancing with guys I don't know ... and if I do, I make sure they keep their distance ... but, that's my boundary to keep. My BF has been there in those situations ... and, he doesn't mind ... he's doing his job, and I'm having fun ... and he's glad that I'm having fun.
If he's bumpin', grindin', gropin' other girls while he dances with them, that's a problem. If it's just dancing, what's the problem?
It could really and truly just be that he likes to dance! Hon, if he was cheating, he wouldn't have to be dancing with them ... dancing can just be dancing. Why aren't you dancing with him when you go out together? That could help! If he's dancing with you, he can't be dancing with other girls, right?
If you're embarrassed about what others think ... get over it. Most of the time, people aren't thinking as much about US or our situations as we'd assume they are. If you're no where in sight, why not join him?
Is he doing this when he's out with you. Then you are not over-reacting. this is disrespectful of you EXTREMELY disrespectful. Or does he do this when he's on his own or with friends...and later tells you about it? Does he at least get why this would get you upset? this is where actors have it over guys in the real world - they can film love scenes and go home and say, gee, what a hard day at the office i had!
Can't he do this dancing with you, as foreplay? That's pretty hot
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