Dangerous territory

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Dangerous territory
6
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:41pm

Hi there. I'm really attracted to my massage therapist, which on the surface, sounds innocent enough. I've been going to this spa and seeing him for about 2 years now and aside from my attraction, he really is a great masseuse. Up until recently, things were pretty status quo; then at my appointment 2 months ago, he gave me a really tight hug and kiss on the cheek when I arrived and when I left. I didn't think anything of it, but the actual massage was different this time...it was therapeutic but also somewhat sensual. I wrote it off as being my imagination and didn't give it another thought. Well, I went in for another massage this past weekend and got the ususual greeting...big hug and big kiss on the cheek. What was different this time though was that as we were walking back to the treatment room, he was caressing my lower back. No biggie I thought...just an affectionate guy. Another great massage and when he walked me out to the lounge, he was again caressing my lower back and getting very close to me. When we got to the women's locker room, I was expecting the normal hug and kiss but instead got a soft, wet kiss on the lips! What's THAT all about???? We were talking before and after the massage about his vacation with his wife and stuff about his family and he didn't seem really happy in the relationship based on some of his comments -- "trip was fun but it was a good thing we had different interests and got to spend time apart". As I was walking out of the locker room, I saw him standing at the reception desk and it was obvious that he was waiting for me to come out because I saw him looking at me...when I caught his eye, he immediately looked down at the desk. As I approached, he said goodbye and left for the day.

I don't know what to think...I'm really attracted to this man. Am I reading too much into this? Should I stop getting massage from him? I need some advice!!!

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:47pm

Yes, you should stop getting massages from him! It sounds like he's already crossed the line of professional behavior...and the guy is married, too...that's disgusting!

I'm not sure what the fact that you're attracted to him has to do with anything...surely you wouldn't sleep with a married man, even if he were coming on to you?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Thu, 05-18-2006 - 10:48pm

Congrats, you are stepping into mistress territory. He sounds like a classic case of a man who wants to cheat on his wife....with you. If you are interested in being a side dish, I suggest full steam ahead with this one. That sensual kiss says it all.

Of course, if mistressing is not for you then I would suggest finding a new masseuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 9:03am

In my opinion, you're playing with fire. The man is married. Put yourself in his wife's shoes. What if you were her? And there you were, sitting at home, kissing your husband goodbye every day thinking he's being faithful and meanwhile he's not and he's messing around with his patients. How would you feel? I know not good.


This man took a vow to not cheat and to remain loyal. His character shows him to be anything but. And since he can't contain himself, I would ask you as a person who has some control in this situation to be the one to rise above and not allow this man to cheat, at least not with you.


Yes, get a new therapist ASAP. And don't bother going back there. This man broke so many boundaries that it's scary.


Good luck and keep us posted.


Kerry

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2006
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 2:23pm

Thanks for the reaffirmation. My logical mind saw all of the red flags and I've been the wife of an unfaithful husband before, so I know what that's all about. I guess I was just so "flattered"(?) by the attention, whether good or bad, b/c I haven't gotten that sort of attention for such a long time that I just forgot where to go/not go with it.

Thanks for snapping me back to reality!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-19-2006 - 7:16pm

Honey if he is married, he is unavailable.

It's obvious that he isn't being true to his wife. Do you want to get mixed up with a cheater?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-21-2003
Sat, 05-20-2006 - 2:01am
LOL...the man wants some and he picked you, and maybe more of his clients. He kjnows you have a crush on him and he';s working his way into your pants. First a hug and kiss on the cheek, then a massage to your lower back and a wet kiss on the lips and you never said "no,". He's testing the waters. He's married but would say anything to get laid.