Dating 2 guys, is it wrong ?
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| Wed, 11-24-2004 - 11:19pm |
Hi, me and a friend of mine are having a debate regarding my dating situation
and I need some advice from a "non-involved party".
I recently started seeing an ex-coworker of mine who I sort of like
but do not consider very serious. In fact, right from the very start I
assumed this would be just an intimate relationship, not more. Much to my surprise,
the guy did ask me out on several dates, like the usual, dinner, movie, even once
cooked me dinner, all of these I consider nice gestures but unnecessary and frivoulous
for a casual relationship. Well, how did I come to the conclusion that it's casual ?
He wrote me an email that he likes to hang out with me but right now he can't promise me anything and doesn't want to hurt me, to which I said it was fine and I was still getting over a past relationship which broke-up 5 months ago.
Why I don't want to get involved with him ? I am a firm believer of love and chemistry at first sight and with this guy, well, I like him more like a friend than anythign else and I like having an intimate relationship with him, but not mroe than that. So I figured I'll hang out with him in my spare time while in my other free time I will look for Mr.Chemistry at First Sight.
Meanwhile, I met a nice, handsome guy that I find interesting and might have a potential
and I started dating (not being intimate though). Anyway, my friend is adamant that the ex-coworker likes me and what he says about not promising anythign soudns like he doesn't want to rush in anything, not that it's OK for me to be intimate with others ( I am not intimate with the guy #2 yet), and that I should let him know I am not being exclusive. She thinks it's wrong of me to keep this piece of informaiton to myself because later this might turn into a mess. I am hesitant because I think the guy wants a casual relationship.
What would you do in my place ? would you tell him ? I do not have an 'exclusivity' agreement with either of them and I always thought that it is 'OK' to date others, even be intimate with them if you do not have that particular agreement. Mind you I use protection.

I think the best thing would be to tell Guy #1 that you want to clarify your situation with him. Verify that he is taking this as a light & casual, friends with benefits arrangement. Do NOT mention Guy #2. Just make sure of where you stand -- that will indicate what needs to be announced . . . . later . . . . if you choose to have sex with other people while still seeing your man-of-convenience. If, on the other hand, he has decided that he's going to fall for you, or something like that -- this would be the time you'll find out about it.
Communication is the key.
Good luck,
Traci