Dating After Divorced

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Dating After Divorced
2
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 4:03pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year now. When we first met he was still married (seperated though) and we became friends. After a few months his exwife moved away and we became even closer. His divorce became finalized this past July and his emotions are just now kicking in. When it was finalized he was relieved, but now it's turned into frustration, confusion, sadness, anger and everything else. He says I cause some of it when I want to see him adn keep pressuring the issue. He stays at my place and if I keep pestering him on staying there he gets frustrated. He doesn't have a place of his own and he felt fine staying there until told that he was mooching off of me since he wasn't helping pay anything...now he doesn't feel comfortable to stay there. I don't understand the true feelings since I've never been divorced. I do know some of it is my fault and I will accept responsibility on that part. Any ideas on how I can help him through this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Wed, 09-15-2004 - 5:57pm
So everything was fine until you pointed out that he was using you ?

Sounds pathetic.

The guy is looking for a free ride, and now you're standing up and saying "you need to contribute here" and he's turning things around on YOU?

Sorry, but he's using his divorce as an excuse and an emotional weapon for you to feel sorry for him. He should have been dealing with things and gotten his life back in the last year. Instead he's been staying with you and getting off easy. Then when you bring something up, he's playing the BOO HOO ME cards and you're falling for it.

Kick this loser to the curb.

Alison

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:37am
You are not at fault...if anything you are at fault for getting involved wtih someone who is NOT ready to be in a relationship.