Dating again.. with someone new..(M)

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Dating again.. with someone new..(M)
1
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 10:12am


Hi all. I have a question. I'm going out with this sweet

new man. I also work with him. He works a different shift

than I do.. And I REALLY like him. We're supposed to go

out thursday. I'm kind of nervous. I haven't been with

someone since my last boyfriend and we we're together for

a year. What do I do if he tries to kiss me? I want him too.

Don't get me wrong. I just want this to work out and to take

things slow. And not jump into things that fast. If you know

what I mean. I would love to do that. But, I want a real relationship

with this man. I want it to last and to be everything my last

relationship wasn't.

Truthfully, I'm scared to death. Because, I already like this man,

and it's obvious he likes me. He likes for me to come and talk to

him on his breaks at night. And he already wanted to come to my

house and see what my life is like(i guess). I don't know. I

guess that I'm just nervous and exicted. Because, I know I

have a chance with a good guy who will treat me right. This

I know. B.c he's seems so sweet. He babysits his nephew all the

time and he always runs errands for his mom and older brother.

I'm not used to guys like this. The last three men I dated all lied

and used me. So, I guess I just wanted some advice on how not to

get my heart broken and to set my hopes up high. Thanks for listening

I just needed to talk about it..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 08-10-2004 - 8:13pm
You need to walk into that date thinking nothing more than you are making a new friend. Walking in with a head full of fairy tales and fantasies of the future with this guy is going to freak him out- he will feel it. Also you will disappoint yourself if this is your attitude going in. Don't put the cart before the horse, so to speak. What if you meet this guy on the date and you aren't as impressed as you thought you'd be. Sometimes people are different in other settings. You've seen this guy at work, now you would be meeting him outside of work. What if there is something that you don't like about him? Or you find out that you have nothing in common? You need to get to know who he is and what he's all about before you get your hopes up.

That said, have fun on this *interview* as my friend calls it. Try not to let your hormones get in the way, keep the blinders off and try not to drink alcohol. When your date is over, leave by yourself- you will be more likely to give in to hormonal temptation if you leave together. Since you say you want a relationship with this guy, you don't want to just jump in the sack together. If he kisses you, by all means kiss him back, but don't allow it to go into a grope/ make out session.

Let us know what happens.

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