dating and standards
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| Tue, 12-26-2006 - 10:17pm |
Hello!
I'm just wondering if my standards are a bit too high.
I've been seeing a great guy. We've had several dates. He always calls the next day, always tells me what a great time he had. He's very polite, tells me how he feels and is very good about setting up the next date. He's cute, articulate, a gentleman. I love talking to him, and so far everything has been great.
The problem is that his friends party too much for my taste. We're all mature adults in our late 30s, 40s and 50s. They have no problem with alcohol in the car and there always seems to be plenty of pot to go around. I've not seen the man I'm dating smoke pot and he's told me that he doesn't. But all of his friends smoke pot and the other night I was offered some, which I refused. He saw that I was a bit shocked and teased me a bit for it.
Now I'm torn. He's very close with his friends and they seem to be a big part of his life. If he's telling the truth, they seem tolerant of the fact that he doesn't smoke pot. But if anything ever happened--if we were out with his friends and they'd been smoking and we get pulled over--I just don't want to have to even think about this kind of drama every time I go out.
Are my standards too high? Does everyone smoke pot? I've run into this issue many, many times and I'm starting to think that I'm in the minority. I've been shocked to discover that my co-workers (corporate professionals), people from church, other people that I just never would have believed smoke pot do smoke it.
Are there people out there who don't smoke pot or do drugs? Am I being naive to think that I'll find a man who doesn't do drugs and whose close, personal friends don't use drugs?
Thanks!

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I'm in my 20s and do not smoke pot. I tend to stick to dating guys who do not either, I guess I do set my standards based around that type of thing. I just wouldn't want to get into a bad situation and also I can't stand the smell of pot! But everyone has their own standards and that's okay. Good luck!
edited to add:
I just remembered, my ex's best buddy was a heavy pot smoker and I made it clear that when he visited our apartment he was not to smoke in there, nor outside on the balcony. So I think he did it in his car when he felt like he couldn't make it through a visit without smoking again.
Edited 12/28/2006 8:09 am ET by boston9
Smile,
Deirdre
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