Dating coach

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Dating coach
11
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:37am

Has anyone ever asked a friend/relative spy on you while you were on a first date in order to check out how you make a first impression with a guy? If so, how did you work it out so that they would be in close enough proximity to overhear your conversation?

This has been suggested to me on this board but I'm having difficulty imagining how to set it up.

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Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 1:45pm

No, I've never done it, and am not sure how useful it would be...but as far as setting it up, it seems like arranging to meet at a Starbucks and then arranging for a friend to come in and sit close by with a newspaper might work.

But all that will do is give you one person's opinion...and something you do that he or she doesn't like might be what causes someone who's right for you to be smitten with you, ya know?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 2:01pm

Oh yeah, hadn't thought of that.

Maybe I'll invite all of my friends and then I'll take a vote!! Hahaha. That's really what it would take...

Have you ever tried to get a seat in Starbucks in Manhattan? Let alone tables next to someone else? I would have to think of someplace much less popular. People are very...how should I say it...aggressive around here about staking out tables in any establishment that's worth going to.

I notice from your tag you are possibly from the NW? I spent 12 years in Seattle and there are much better coffeehouses there than Starbucks...New Yorkers have NO IDEA what they are missing...I've yet to find a good one w/ good atmosphere here...

But I digress...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 2:30pm
It might be easier to bring along a good tape recorder in your purse and then review the tape afterward.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 2:51pm

How about a double date?


You're in NYC too... cool! I live in Brooklyn.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:17pm

OK, that sounds a little easier to do!! Although it seems a bit strange...but worth trying. It seems this is a felony in 14 states but it's OK here!! Cool.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:20pm

You can totally do the meet for drinks thing, bump into a friend and then go off to dinner with your date alone too. There's a few variations I could think of.


I'd be afraid of recording someone in case the recorder stopped and then he asks "what was that?" Can you say b-b-busted? LOL


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:23pm

Maybe for a second date...seems a bit odd for a first date though, don't you think? I don't know...if I had known the guy casually beforehand I would do this, but I'm kind of interested in the first impression.

Tape recording sounds good. Just have to find a quiet place.

I live in Chelsea. I recently visited a cool nabe over on the Promenade in Brooklyn...nice big apts over there, not like my closet apartment!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:30pm

Yeah I could do something like that, but people act differently when other people are around. The conversation might center more around the friend we bump into, for instance. Better if it's totally covert I think...but not a bad idea. I'll give it more thought...

That would be funny if I got busted. I'd just tell him I'm collecting material for my screenplay...pretty much everyone in NYC is writing a screenplay, right?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2004
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:36pm
I think tape recording is a good idea. Easier than trying to orchestrate other people or get them to spy on you. I usually give a friend a summary of my first dates. Of course, this isn't nearly as accurate as tape recording. I saw a Dr. Phil episode where they held a "dating workshop" and video taped the dates and told the girl what she was doing wrong. After the dates were over, they asked each guy if they'd date the girl again and why. It would be great if more of these workshops were available to us.

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 3:58pm

OK, let me dust off my voice-activated tape recorder and give this a shot. And then I'll write a screenplay.

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