Dating coach

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
Dating coach
11
Sun, 01-08-2006 - 11:37am

Has anyone ever asked a friend/relative spy on you while you were on a first date in order to check out how you make a first impression with a guy? If so, how did you work it out so that they would be in close enough proximity to overhear your conversation?

This has been suggested to me on this board but I'm having difficulty imagining how to set it up.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2006
In reply to: goddess_juju
Wed, 02-15-2006 - 11:09pm

So I've been out w/ 6 different guys since this post and I didn't tape record my date. Either I liked the guy and felt it would be intrusive or I didn't like the guy and I felt it would be pointless.

guy #1 I really like. We've been out 4-5 times but he's not "ready for a relationship" for various reasons that I agree with, one major one being he doesn't have a job and would like to take me out to the most expensive restaurants this side of Soho (major cognitive dissonance there). But I really think this guy is sweet. It's nice just getting to know him!! I guess I'm a little crazy about him. Ergo: can't tape him.

guy #2 Palestinian explosives expert I met online: Major misrepresentation in that he lives with his parents!! OMG!!! I specifically wrote in my profile must be financially independent from parents!!!! OMG!!! Jihad whatever. You're not interesting if you're still splitting the utility bill w/ Mommy.

guy #3 Italian teacher with crooked goatee (n.b., goatee was not apparent in online photo; so major misrepresentation in that he has weird facial hair). Need I say more. The entire date I had to suppress the urge to nudge the thing to center. The whole symmetry = beauty hypothesis? I'm a believer. Also: Major online misrepresentation in that he's selling his Soho apt and moving to the 'burbs. Looks like it would be awfully "convenient" to have a babe in the city, what?

guy #4 Ectomorphic osteoporotic financial technology dude. Possibly $ecure; however being a dietitan, couldn't help noticing that he ordered his "cream sauce on the side". Um, watching your girlish figure?? When he noticed me staring, explained: "Have a milk allergy (self-diagnosed), which is different from lactose intolerance." OK, thanks for clarifying (nobody has a milk allergy past age 3). So hoping against hope he doesn't ask me out again, when I will have to perform serious diet counselling for male anorexia.

guy #5 International banking dude with spanking new Mercedes SUV. Writing to me now from Amsterdam (on business, of course), re: did I make snow angels during the blizzard. As with most men older than me, feel a bit like I'm being dated by Daddy. This guy will get a second date however because he is one of those rare creatures who did NOT misrepresent himself online. Give that man some credit!!

guy #6 Doctor doctor. He has 2 PhDs and he loves to tell you about it. What he left out of his online profile was his pregnant fiancee tragically fell down the stairs and died 5 months ago, which he will tell you via phone call before you go out with him. How about that for a bait and switch. I went out him just to see if he did it. Is that not sick. He described the fetus in between bites of filet mignon. I had to be debriefed by guy #1 the following day, otherwise I would still be having bad dreams.

So I've got plenty of material for the screenplay....




Edited 2/16/2006 9:08 am ET by goddess_juju

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