Dating Divorced Guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Dating Divorced Guy
5
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:41pm

Ok. It's not even really dating yet. We've been talking every day for about a month. We have messed around a few times. But, that was in the beginning. We had a discussion that we wanted to take things slow & see where it goes. We've been focusing more on becoming friends.

His divorce was final only 2 weeks ago. On top of that, he has some family drama he's been tending to. The other night, I drunkenly texted him that I liked him. He has gotten more distant. I guess I freaked him out. We are still talking. But, certainly not as much.

What do I do? Do I talk to him about "us"? I know he likes me. But, I also know I should be more patient. Maybe he's just trying to let me down gently?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 11-26-2006 - 9:56pm

Could be. That, and/or he's dealing with the emotional aftermath of his divorce being final. It takes a toll, even if he was the one who wanted it and even if they've been separated for a long time (which is why I've said to you before that dating separated or freshly divorced men is a big risk). And family drama on top of that? Not a good combination for being in a place where he's going to want to start a relationship.

I would not talk to him about relationship stuff. He's just not in a space to deal with that right now. I would go about my business and not count on anything coming of this. Time will tell--if he wants to be in a relationship with you AND he's capable of it, it'll happen. If not, it won't.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:04pm

Well, turns out he may be moving. He said he isn't sure but he wanted to "make that decision without getting his heart involved".

I know I was supposed to head for the hills with his history. But, sometimes you have no control when your heart takes the reigns.

He's trying to distance himself for me. Dang it. I know he liked me. What do I do now? Just let him go?

It's so difficult when this guy made me laugh like no other. We were becoming good friends & now I guess I lost that too.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:19pm

Well, I think you always have a choice about whether to get involved, even if it's a difficult one. If you choose to follow your heart despite the risks, that's certainly a valid choice, so long as you are prepared to deal with the high probability of heartache. I've certainly been there, done that, btw--I'm trying to extricate myself now from a situation that I knew had a high probability of hurting me, in fact. But I made the choice to get involved anyway so I'm taking full responsibility for that choice.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that he's moving. As far as what to do, what are your options besides letting go, particularly if he's distancing himself? What do you think you should do?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2006
Mon, 11-27-2006 - 9:39pm
I guess my only choice is to let him go. Maybe one day, when he's ready he'll be back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Tue, 12-05-2006 - 8:56am
It's all very raw for him. His divorce was just final.
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