A Dating Dummy
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A Dating Dummy
| Wed, 09-22-2004 - 2:11am |
I have been dating this guy off and on for about 7 months. He's a great guy and we have so much fun together and I feel really comfortable with him. He's good-looking and he's a doctor too so tons of girls throw themselves at him especially b/c we're in a small town. I'm not bad-looking either and I'm in law school right now so I get my share of guys however, I feel a real connection with this guy. It got hard when he moved and so we're trying to do the whole long distance thing. He drives me crazy with his behavior because I can never read if he's really into me or not. Sometimes he calles me incessantly and can't wait to be w/ me. Other times he says he doesn't want to talk to me and doesn't want to see me and thinks we should take some time apart, but then calls the next day. He says that he thinks he's ready for a commitment but I don't know sometimes. We talked recently and he says that he's trying to cut back on how often he talks to me b/c he's scared of being in a relationship with me for fear of messing up and me not being in his life anymore. He tells me that he wants me to know how special I am b/c he lets me sleep w/ him and kisses me. Apparently allowing a girl to sleep in bed w/ him and kissing someone is much more special than just having sex w/ someone. He said he's only let his ex and me sleep w/ him. I recently found out that he still keeps in contact with his ex though claims that he would not get back w/ her even if she asked him to. He plays these mind games where he wants me to call him instead of him calling me. I admit I play the games too so I don't call. He's just used to having girls fall all over him, and I'm not that type of girl that wiill go out of my way to pursue a guy. I really do like him though b/c we get along so well and he has a good heart. I just don't know if I should continue to keep talking to him or just cut my losses now. I can't tell if he really likes me and is just scared to commit, or if he's not really interested. I don't know what to think about his ex either. Somebody help me out cuz I am kinda a relationship moron. I hate talking about my feelings and often let my pride get in the way. I'm desperate for advice.

Or, you can ask him where he sees the relationship going. If he's totally avoiding the subject and can't give a straight answer, then I would take that as he's not wanting more.
Alison
Mind games and inconsistency.
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Another thing is his mother calls me all the time. Just to check up on me and see how everything is doing. She tells me she really likes him w/ me b/c he's been so much more responsible. He tells her that he respects me so much and that he listens to me when I tell him to do things, and he doesn't really know why b/c he doesn't listen to others. He's such a momma's boy so I thought if his mother likes me so much then I'm in...Unfortunately seems like she likes me more than he does sometimes.
u know one thing that my guy friends have taught me is that u can't make logic out of an inlogical situation. to me, he just sounds confused himself so you are not going to be able to understand him.
but you know, i'm the same way...i try to make logic out of these stupid little confusing things that guys do...and sometimes u can't. and i also come full of pride..maybe too much. sometimes i just want to ask what are their intentions!? my advice to you, (which is easier said then done) is to approach him of this. say it's fine if he doesn't want to be with u right now but don't say one thing one minute and something different the next. that just confuses u...and leads u both on an unneccessary ride. (i'm in a very similar situation as u at the moment)
~jayjay