Dating - First Time Meeting Etiquette

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-04-2004
Dating - First Time Meeting Etiquette
4
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 7:53am
I met a man on the internet and we connected right away. We agreed to meet for a drink at 8pm and then I realized I had to pick up my son at 10pm. So I suggested we meet earlier at 6 for dinner. He agreed to the dinner but suggested we pay dutch. I agreed to his terms but didn't like it. I emailed him back and said I expected a man to pay for the first date and I said goodbye. He replied and said it was only a first meeting, not a date, and that he be delighted to pay for things after the first meeting. I'm confused with first time meetings from the internet. Who should pay what? Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2003
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 10:21am

Sounds like he wants to see if there's a spark there before he dips into his pocket... I don't see anything wrong with the first meeting being dutch and going from there. It also works in your favor--if you don't feel that connection with him in person, you won't feel so bad if you're paying for yourself.

Hope this helps.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 11:04am

I think that a first meeting from the internet IS NOT a date. Its a chance for the two people to meet to see if they WANT to have a first date. This is why most first meetings are very casual over coffee or a couple of drinks. That way there is no significant investment.

For you to change the time and type of the first meeting, then expect him to pick up the tab sends a poor message.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 12-04-2004 - 11:17am

This is why you always make the first meeting for *coffee*!!!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
Sun, 12-05-2004 - 5:58am

while i, for some reason, always seem to end up being the person who pays - ARGH! - i truly appreciate a man who not only offers to pay, but means it... i dont need a man to take care of me, but i do want a man who would want to...

my take on your situation is this: the fact that he asked you right off the bat for you to go to dutch, is, in my opinion - not something that *I* would be turned on by... and from what i can tell i your post - you share my same view. casual meeting or date - it doesnt matter, i think. for me at least, if a man *asked* me to pay - id be turned off. im fine with myself offering - which i always do! - but to be *asked* - thats a whole different story!

given that, i would PERSONALLY, no longer be interested in this guy - i see this as a quality that i will continue to not appreciate should the relationship further. in which case, if youre already not into it - forget it. if you can look past it, ah well - just go with his flow/request??

goodluck!