Dating him not son

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2004
Dating him not son
2
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 6:33pm
I was dating a this guy for 2 months and we broke up for a few months. We got back together and have been together for 3 months. The only difference between now and then is that he now has his son full-time, who is 5 years old. I love him and his son but am having a hard time always being around his son. I'm still young and want to go out and have fun. But we can't do this with his son with us.

I'm upset with myself that I have a problem with his son always being in the picture. But I told him that I'm dating him not his son and need some alone time with him. He has tried but we get alone time only once a week and it just isn't enough for me. Also his son, at times, gets bratty and is rude to me but he doesn't do anything about it. And I don't believe its my place to try to parent his son or discipline him. Am I overreacting to this? Should I be ok with his son always around? Should I talk to him about the way his son behaves towards me? Its gotten to the point that his son calls me his girlfriend. Am I a bad or immature person for feeling this way? I'm not sure if I should bring up the topic again because I've already discussed it with him. Any help would be appreciated.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 11:12pm
When you decided to date this man with a 5-year old, you engaged in a dating trio..the son comes with the package. Apparently this man doesn't know about discipline and is pemisive, in other words a not so good parent. You're right in thinking that he should be the one who discipline his son and not you. You can only mention that you've noticed that his son is rude to you and that you'd appreciate if you correct him and leave it like that. If he's interested in saving the relationship then he'll do it and even will get a babysitter so you can both have some time alone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-24-2004
Sat, 07-17-2004 - 1:50pm
Actually when I decided to date him his son was 5 states away. I knew that he would be involved in the relationship but not as much as it now is. Also I didn't want to get into a quick mother type relationship, which he said would never happen.