Dating Jitters
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| Sat, 07-30-2005 - 7:22pm |
Hi,
I'm new to the board and glad to be here. I'm 31 years old and I have to admit to being a little out of it as far as dating. I get offers for dates but none that I want to go on. The guy is usally too young (meaning under 27), too old (meaning over 40), or worse married, has a live in, or a baby on the way and moving in that direction.
I don't know if its the area I live in or what but I fill so out of sorts to date. There seems to be no option and I've come to feel embarrassed to even try anymore. My last relationship failed and the one before that did to, but I guess that's obvious. They weren't good men and I'm more ashamed that I chose them then that it ended with them dumping me. I actually wanted them to stay and believe me, good riddins should have been the word. That makes me feel conflicted about my own judgement and sence when it comes to choosing men. However, my more immediate problem is: Everyone in my family is married. No i'm not in a rush to jump the broom because of it AT ALL but there is always a pressure and close eye on me when I date. What am I doing wrong and why aren't they sticking is always the question--has always been even when I was 20 and first starting to date. I hate this being a alone all the time on weekends. I want companionship, but I'm scared of failure and even more scared of the shame of looking at my family if the next guy doesn't work out. Any suggestions on how I can build my confidence and not worry about failure when it comes to men.

Hi Madeline and welcome!
There's no quick fixes for this one... I've just gone through it myself. My suggestions would be to stop focusing on guys and start focusing on you. Start learning what you like, why you are a great person, etc. Self affirmations help to build confidence. Don't look for affirmation from others, just yourself. Try not to worry about what others think about you. Ask your real friends what areas you need to work on...
These are all only suggestions, things that helped me... But not the be-all, end-all way of gaining that confidence. I'm sure others will have great advice as well.
I hope this helps.
Again, welcome and hope to see you post often!
Kerry
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