Dating a man going through a divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Dating a man going through a divorce
6
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 3:28pm

I am dating a man who is separated and going through a divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 3:45pm

I'm sure there will be some advice leaning toward "don't date him until the divorce is over" and generally I'd probably say the same...

But I dated when I was separated and going through the divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 10:14pm

I'd stay far, far away from the divorce drama itself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 03-01-2011 - 10:43pm

I agree with staying out of the details of the divorce. It has nothing to do with you, you're just dating, not waiting for her to take her ring off so you can put one on... :)

The way you can be supportive is to be a fun person who makes him happy, and who brings out the best in him during the dating stage. The divorce itself doesn't involve you directly so I would caution you to stay out of the specifics, for your own sake mostly. Stay COMPLETELY away from the divorce drama.

How do you handle the stress and emotions of someone else's divorce?

By keeping your distance from him except once in a while to have fun and get to know one another better. I would certainly not be coddling him or engaging in any kind of drama talk about his divorce, not at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 12:05am
Good point (not his therapist)! If that's what he talks about with you the majority of the time, then probably not a good time to date.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-01-2011
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 9:06am

yes, I'm in the same situation and while I knew logically that he wouldn't be good dating or relationship material, the fact that he had been separated from his wife for some time and living outside of the home before starting divorce proceedings made me think otherwise.

How do you all separate just having fun with someone from wanting something more concrete?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2007
Wed, 03-02-2011 - 11:22am

"How do you all separate just having fun with someone from wanting something more concrete?"

If you are wanting something more concrete and the other person is not there yet, then it's just all the wrong timing.