DATING A MARRIED MAN!!BUT CANT STOP!!
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DATING A MARRIED MAN!!BUT CANT STOP!!
| Mon, 12-05-2005 - 10:58pm |
OK, I KNOW WHAT YALL THINKNING BUT ITS NOT LIKE THAT! HE'S MY BESTFRIEND BROTHER AND HE HANGOUT WHERE I HANGOUT AT.I USE TO SEE THIS GUY WAY BEFORE HE GOT MARRIED BUT I STOP TALKING TO HIM. I HAVENT TALK TO HIM IN OVER A YEAR,SO WHEN I CAME HOME FROM SCHOOL HE WANTED TO TALK BACK TO ME BUT I DIDNT GIVING HIM THE TIME OR DAY. SO ANYWAY I FINALLY GAVE HIM MY # AND HE WOULD CALL AN CALL BUT I WOULD NEVER GO OUT WITH HIM BECAUSE I WASNT INTERESTED IN HIM AND I STILL KNEW HE WAS MARRIED. UNTIL ONEDAY I FINALLY WENT OUT WITH HIM. IT WAS COOL AT THE BEGINNING AND THAT WAS 3MONTHS AGO AND NOW IT'S LIKE I WANT TO GET OUT THE RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE I'M UNHAPPPY. OH I FORGOT TO MENTION HE HAS 3 KIDS 1 BY HIS WIFE AND ANOTHER ONE BEFORE HIS WIFE AND THE OTHER BY A GIRL HE CHEATED ON WHILE HE WAS MARRIED. HE'S CONTENT WITH OUR RELATIONSHIP BUT I'M NOT. I DONT KNOW IF HE STILL SEEING HIS BABYMOTHER WHO ALSO LIVE WHERE I BE. I'M KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT IM GOING TO STOP CALLING HIM AND I DID ONE TIME BUT HE CALLED AND WE TALK AND I STILL SEE HIM.THIS IS NOT ALL BUT I DONT WANT TO TAKE TO MUCH OF YOUR TIME.WHEN I DONT CALL HIM I THINK ABOUT HIM AND WHAT HE DOING WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND WHEN WE ARE TALKING IM STILL THINKING ABOUT THE SAME STUFF. SO WHAT SHOULD I DO?? PLEASE HELP ME

Understand that there is no such thing as "can't," there is only "won't." There is only one person who can stop you--YOU. If you are not happy, then you must take baby steps to get yourself out of this. Stop answering his calls. Stop contacting him, whatever it is.
If you are finding this hard to do, then I would say the next step is seeking professional help so you can learn why you are remaining in a relationship that is not good for you and that is not making you happy.
You know what you should do and you won't do it. It's not that you can't stop it's that you don't want to stop seeing him or you would. He's not a very nice man, he's married, has a child with a previous woman, his wife and another woman he's cheated on his wife with. He's not discriminatory where he puts his penis nor is he very viligant about taking precautions like wrapping it up to prevent pregnancies or STD's. That alone would keep me away from him.
My only advice is to get yourself out of this drama that you've plopped yourself in. He's married, with 3 kids by 3 different women. Sounds like a loser to me. Nothing special. End contact, change your number if you have too.
Get out of this relationship as soon as possible. If you don't have the strength or self-control to cut him off, get help from friends or family to keep you away from him. I also agree about getting professional help. There's no shame in getting help, and it can help you to understand why you've entered such a toxic situation and hopefully will keep you out of future ones.
I agree, this has much to do with your own self-esteem. You seem to have the sense to realize that this is a bad situation so that's a great first step. Now you just need to muster the strength to pull yourself out of it and make sure not to fall into this kind of pattern again. It will probably be harder to do the right thing for yourself, but have faith. You'll be happier with yourself in the long run.