Dating more than one guy

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2003
Dating more than one guy
3
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 12:10am

I've been on 3 first dates in the past week. 2 of them went GREAT. Both of those guys were also very interested and want to see me again. The 3rd guy I wasn't feeling it with so I am going to let things off the hook there.

I have never gone out with more than one guy at a time before.... it has always happened more like -- go out with one guy, if it goes well, keep seeing them and don't muddy it up with other guys. But this time I met them so close to eachother and really like them both for different reasons and want to see if either could go further.

I don't plan on taking either to a more relationship level at this point (it has only been one date, each) but how do I be fair to both of them... getting to know them both better without getting confused by all those early dating things X2? I feel like such a hussie going out with two guys :-) but I realize that it isn't a bad thing. I need to explore my options. I'm looking ultimately for something more lasting than a few dates.

I'm already confused. How do I keep my sanity?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 11-19-2005 - 3:11pm

What I do is date more than one person until such time as I've gotten to know them well enough to know that I want to be exclusive with one of them. It becomes obvious over time (or at least it has to me).

I don't tell them I'm dating other people (unless they ask; then I'm honest but discreet--I don't flaunt my dates, in other words), and I assume that they are doing so as well, unless and until we discuss and agree to date exclusively. And there's no physical stuff going on (except for kissing, maybe).

Be open to getting to know both of them (and maybe a 3rd guy will show up, who knows?) and see where it goes. A good book on this is "Date Like a Man" by Myreah Moore, btw.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2003
Sun, 11-20-2005 - 1:04pm

I'd recommend being extremely organized so you don't get one confused with the other. But if you haven't agreed to be exclusive with either one you are well within your dating rights.

Sooner or later you will know which one to set free.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2005
Mon, 11-21-2005 - 12:55pm
you know i was in a somewhat similar situation last year, where I was dating four guys! That had never in my life happened to me. But you know I thought it would be hard, but even though there were four, there was only one I liked the best. It was a little hard letting the others go when I realized that, but I managed to do it. That sad part of this is that the one I liked the best, it didnt work out and boy did that hurt because I really liked him and saw a future with him...but I don't regret what happened.