dating question

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
dating question
21
Tue, 09-04-2007 - 1:38pm
If a guy likes a woman is it better if he gives his number to her, like on a note, or ask for her number?
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 2:24pm

If you don't call, these women most likely don't think you really like them.

Are you afraid of rejection? Afraid of not knowing what to say on the phone? If you give us a little more information, maybe we can help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 3:00pm
Scared of both. Rejection and not knowing what to say on the phone.
Generally is it better to ask for phone number and asking out on phone or asking them right then and there.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 4:08pm

Well, if you're going to date, you have to learn how to deal with rejection. It's not going to kill you--I can't count how many times I've been rejected and I'm still alive and kicking ;-). It honestly does get easier with practice. Once you're rejected a few times and you realize that it's not fun, but it's not THAT BAD, you can deal with it better.

As for what to say, talk about whatever your common connection is for a few minutes, maybe ask how her day was. Then ask if she'd like to have dinner Friday night (or whatever).

And as for whether I prefer that someone ask me out on the spot or call me, it really depends on the context. A simple, would you like to go out sometime followed by, great, I'll call you to set things up if she says yes, would work in most situations though.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 4:27pm
I prefer they ask for my number.....



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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 4:31pm

Take a communications class to help overcome the fear....


Read a few good self-help books on self-esteem:


How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon


The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen


The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz




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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 8:50pm

Do you ask men out? Or is rejection different for women? Like if a man doesn't ask you out you consider that a rejection? Do you think I'm scrutinizing too much?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jackmoin
Thu, 09-06-2007 - 9:58pm

I have, and I've had men not call me again after one or more dates, or even disappear without a word after we have been involved for a while (a year and a half in one case)--all rejections of one sort or another.

And yes, you're scrutinizing too much--you need to get out there and just do it. As I said, it becomes easier with some practice. And it's necessary to risk rejection and risk getting hurt if you want to be in a relationship--that's just the way it is.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
In reply to: jackmoin
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 1:17pm
Sometimes a woman feels more comfortable taking a man's number - do you have a business card? But you can say, I'd like your number if you feel comfortable, but here is mine also."
,
,
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2007
In reply to: jackmoin
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 2:52pm
How can a man tell if a woman is rejecting him or playing hard to get, like wants to make the guy work for it. Why do you woman do this so much?! Can't they be less elusive?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: jackmoin
Fri, 09-07-2007 - 4:35pm

You're barking up the wrong tree with this "you women" attitude. All women are not the same--I don't play hard to get and I really don't have women friends who do either. Having that attitude is not going to help you get dates, at least not with women you'd want to be in a relationship with.

Assume if she says no, that she means no. You wouldn't want someone who doesn't say what she means, anyway, would you?

Sheri