dating someone shy
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| Thu, 08-12-2004 - 1:30pm |
here is my background. a couple of months ago my boyfriend of almost four years and i split ways. i am feeling much better about it and i think i'm ready to move on.
i have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and i am really starting to fall for him. however, i am having trouble sorting out my feelings. he is really quiet and shy and it is hard to get him to open up. i feel like i do most of the talking, and maybe it is just because i try to avoid the silence. could that just be because we are not completely comfortable around each other yet? i keep focusing on how comfortable my other relationship and its like i'm striving to get back to that point with this new guy. its hard for me to tell whether we just don't have a connection or whether i am just not used to be around someone new.
everything just feels awkward and different. shouldnt it feel surprising, i mean isnt the beginning of a relationship suppose to be fun and exciting? its just hard b/c he is shy and nervous around me, and i'm just not used to being with someone different. i dont know how to sort out what i really feel.
does anyone have any advice?

This new guy is quiet and shy, you say nervous around you. You will just have to take things slowly and relax. You may feel like you are the only one talking just to fill up the silence. Maybe he likes the silence, and you should learn to enjoy it as well. Give him the opportunity to open up to you. Go to HIS level and quiet down.
So here's an idea. Find a quiet spot, put some quiet music on and light a few candles. Then sit facing him and just be silent for a while. Then ask him a question about himself and wait for him to answer. Do not jump in, do not add, do not change the subject. Then wait and be quiet. The idea is to slow things down so that he's comfortable to talk.
Good luck!