dating a superior or professor

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2005
dating a superior or professor
11
Wed, 05-30-2007 - 3:13am

Hi folks,
I've posted this on another board but wanted to get a different perspective. here's the situation: I've got a crush on an instructor in the college program I'm in. He's probably 10 years older than me (I'm 37). I'm in a certificate program that will last for at least another year. I had two classes with him this semester and will probably have at least two with him next year. He's given me many compliments on my work and often when I'm doing my work in class I'll look up and find him looking at me. He's even gone so far as to say that I'm a "kindred spirit" and "one of the brilliant students". I think the attraction might be reciprocated but nothing has been said about it by either of us.

so...I'm debating whether I should say anything to him about it. the school says that relationships between professors and students are considered "immoral" due to the power imbalance even if the relationship is consensual. I've considered just stating my attraction to him but am worried that it will cause problems in my program if the attraction is not reciprocated or even if it is and he can't do anything about it.

have any of you dated a professor or superior at work and if so, can you give me any suggestions? or even if you haven't....

Thanks....
frazzlegirl

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2007
Sun, 06-10-2007 - 7:02pm

Hey Frazzlegirl-

It would probably be better if you wait til you are done with school before you risk saying anything. But I am in the same situation and I wish someone would have replied to you so I would know what to do, too. I just graduated and I still see my professor occasionally when I visit school a few times a month. I am in mid 30s, too and I know my professor is about 45 and single. Now that I have graduated, I am at the point where I think I could get away with some how saying I am attracted to him.
Anyways, I am sure this was no help, but You are definitely not alone!! Hopefully someone with "professor dating" experience will reply.

Good Luck,
Drogeda

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