Dating an Unmarried Pastor
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Dating an Unmarried Pastor
| Tue, 03-13-2007 - 12:17am |
I am seeing a single pastor. He pastors a Baptist church. The problem is our relationship is a secret and it is so hard sometimes. It's like having an affair with a married man. I can't tell anyone, we have to be careful what we say or do around the members of the church. Sometimes in public he acts like he doesn't know me. Then he calls me later and talks very sweet and loving on the phone.
I'm tired of the secret life. We have to be concerned about running into people in public. This is hard for me. I no longer want to be his secret. I want us to go public. He likes keeping things a secret. Should I dump him.

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Hi,
I have a bit different view. First how long have you been dating? Even tho' pastors can date and marry, they are public figures and as such, his personal life is under scrutiny that most other people aren't subjected to. So if the RS is young and not certain, certainly I would keep in underwrap b/c if I was him I wouldn't want my congregation to know much about my dating/sex life. It's kinda like dating any other public figure such as politicians and celebreties. So your decision about this has to come from the heart, what does your gut feelings tell you about him? Listen to it and you'll know whether to stick it out.
Since you're asking if you should dump him on account of the secrecy requirement, obviously you know there's something wrong with this picture. You deserve a man who is proud to have you at his side. Dump this loser. Pronto.
Holly
Been there done that and got the Tshirt.. He was not a pastor.
Ours was kept a secret the first year, because of work(he said) none of their business what he did when he was off work. We worked for the same company just in different states, or i thought it was because of the company, then I found out that he had asked someone in the same office as him to go to a xmas party for his department. We stayed together another 2.5 years, and it had always bothered me i just tried to pretend it didn't. A couple of months before he left, he was getting emails from ex gfs, asking him why he moved to bham, he would tell them about what he had been doing, working and stuff like that but he did not once mention that he was living with me or that he had a girlfriend. Now that i look back on it, I sometimes think he was wanting to keep his options open. Being kept a secret can and will take its toll on you. But I have promised myself that I will Never let myself be disrespected like that again, and it is disrespect. Good luck to you.
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