Dating younger guy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Dating younger guy?
4
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 12:06pm
He is four yrs younger than me, and I know that is not that much of a age difference but he is 21, isn't that around the age when guys are all about just dating around and having fun. Well I'm 25, and I've been there and done that and I'm just looking to settle down now and start something a little more. Defintely not asking to be proposed to or anything just would like somthing more meaningful.

I've known this guy for about 4 months and we just started "talking/dating" just about a week ago. As long as I've known him, he has always flirted w/ me and always joked around and telling me that he loves me, just joking around of course. Once a week we hang out at a bar and i've never even seen him look at another girl so I think thats a good sign right?

I'm just afraid of getting hurt. I know to take it slow but it just doesn't seem to work that way w/ me. When I start liking someone it's kind of immediately...I know that's bad but I can't control my feelings. Well anyways if anyone has any advice or opinions or just anything to say, please do.

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 1:17pm
Well, if you're 25 and he's 21 and you're looking to settle down, then I'd look else where. On the other hand if you just want to date and have fun, then he's your guy.

A 21 year old does not know what he wants. He's wet behind the ears. He might seem interested now, but at that age, they are so fickle.

I was 27 years old and I went out with a 21 year old. He was gorgeous. We looked the same age. I couldn't stand it another minute. The conversations, the maturity level. One minute he's into me, then the next he sees someone else he'd rather be with then he wants me again? Nope. Can't and won't ever do it again. Besides, a young boy won't do anything but play in your head. My opinion. I wouldn't do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 1:33pm
Thanks for your opinion, i know your right but he was the one chasing me. he was so persistant. I did resist for like 4mnths and then just decided to see what would happen. Even now, I try to push him away but he is so persistant and eventually I just give in. But I know what you're talking about which is what I was afraid of.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2003
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 3:07pm
I think it depends on the guy. I wouldn't just assume that just because he is young that you wouldn't be able to have a meaningful relationship with him. I have dated guys that were in their 30's that were more immature than guys in their 20's. But also, you need to realize that just b/c he is being so persistant doesn't mean he wants to get married any time soon. If you like him and enjoy spending time with him...do it..There are never any guarantees with relationships no matter what the age is........
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-30-2003
Mon, 07-12-2004 - 10:35am
Thanks for your response and I know its been a while since your reply but just to let you know that we are still "talking" or whatever it is we're doing. He is a really sweet guy but I just don't know what he wants still. I mean he jokingly asks me if I'm his "girlfriend" but like I said I'm not sure if he is being serious or if he is just playing around like he always does. We've spent every weekend together. I recently found out that the has a four yr old child which just baffled me I guess mainly b/c I heard it from a third party.

On saturday I met his daughter which was ackward but was nice to see what a great dad he was at such a young age. Well I guess I'm just more confused b/c although he claims he likes me a lot, I've just never been asked by the guy I was talking to if I was his girlfriend. And the worst part is all we ever do is hang out at bars or clubs w/ his brother and my friend. They kind of dated/friends as well. We all are just used to hanging out all together but I wished he would just kind of want to do something just by ourselves. i have brought this up before and he just claims that I'm the one who bring my friend along all the time he invites me out to hang out, but he asks me to hang out,so far, only at bars and clubs. He has called me everyday and we hang out everyweekend b/c he works Mon-Thurs at nites (6pm-7am) and i work in the mornings 8am-5pm so the only chance we have is the weekends. So what do you guys think about this weird situation?