Is dating a younger guy worth it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Is dating a younger guy worth it?
2
Tue, 01-03-2006 - 10:51pm
I am 3 years older than this guy. The catch is that he is still in university and I just graduated. So, these 3 year of difference are actually 3 big years of growing and maturing. Nonetheless, he's really mature for his age, except when it comes to female issues (at least in my mind!). We've been on and off for 5 months, trying to make things work but one of us seems to get hurt. We've talked about how it might be best in the end things, but our attraction for each other just seems to overrun all these reasons. I'm caught between having fun, being free versus being rational and long term. Any advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 9:59am
At five months you shouldn't be having a hard time at all. There is no commitment to work things out, you've only just met in the realm of things. I think the age difference is not significant, but as you mention it is a big deal that you are moving on to your career/graduate school? and he's still just going to classes.
Why are you fighting already and why do you say that he's immature? Finally, why are you still with him if it's such tough going? This is the honeymoon period after all and if the foundation is rocky, why stick around?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2006
Wed, 01-04-2006 - 8:41pm

it's a really good point that if things are sticky then why stay around. that goes through my thoughts a lot. the main things we disagree on is religion and sex. we were raised two different religions however, i'm practicing and he's pretty much atheist now. as far as sexual things go, i'm pretty conservative and he thinks i'm being prude.

i think he's immature in two ways. first, in what he considers "dating." he has never taken me out to dinner, movie, coffee, even a drink. we'll be out with friends and next thing he expects me to fall into his arms. when i don't he claims i'm being high maintainance/dramatic. second, whenever we spend time together, he won't call me. he tells his friends that i can call him just as easily. i feel as if he's playing games with me.

therefore, we've hit some walls. so, we've gone through the cycles of "ending things" and then getting back together. we seem to get back together because after some time we put away our differences and realize again how interesting, fun, kind and wonderful the other person is.

basically, i will be in the same city as he for the next couple months. i would like to be together with him, but i just don't know if i'm letting my standards down. i think i agree about the age thing but i DO feel that he's immature or at least doesn't treat me right. AM i being high maintainance? am i letting my standards down? i've found a guy that's okay for me and i know i want more than this. but am i being too dramatic at this point in my life with dating?

and according to how he acts (not taking me out, not calling) is he just not that into me? or just playing games? or is that the same thing?