Dating a younger man-is he intimidated?
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Dating a younger man-is he intimidated?
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 3:03pm |
Hey everyone!
I have an interesting situation here. I met this guy about a month ago through a mutual friend and we hit it off. We ended up hooking up the first night, but did not sleep together - just had a little fun. We had great convo and when he left the next morning, he told me to call him (he had programmed his # into my phone the night before). He lives about 2 1/2 hours from me, but he's down here all the time b/c he has family and friends here. So, here is the issue: I am 25 and he is 20. Now, I think he's only had one relationship in his life and he has been single for almost 2 years now. I am worried that he might not be able to handle an adult-type relationship and I am at a point now where I really need a solid relationship in my life. I am ready to settle down with someone (not talking marriage or anything, just a boyfriend). Now, he may very well want the same thing, but he is just so hard to figure out. We have talked almost every day since we met and we've visited each other a few times in the past month as well. Well, I went up to see him this past weekend and I was so confused. He was acting weird around me and I told him this. In turn, I think this made him even more intmiidated and strange towards me and he was almost hurt ny me telling him he was acting werid. We had an awesome time, but I just was so confused. My friends tell me they think he is intimidated by the fact that I am older and more expereienced (sexually, as well as in general). They think he was just nervous. Well, I thought he would confess to being nervous, so I told him that I had been nervous to see him and his response was "Well, I bet it didn't help much that I was acting so weird." That didn't help to explain anything!!! I like him and I know he likes me, so what do you think? I wish I knew what was going on in his head - he is not a player and is a really sweet guy. Maybe he just hasn't had enough relationship experience to know how to act????
Please help - any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys!!!!
I have an interesting situation here. I met this guy about a month ago through a mutual friend and we hit it off. We ended up hooking up the first night, but did not sleep together - just had a little fun. We had great convo and when he left the next morning, he told me to call him (he had programmed his # into my phone the night before). He lives about 2 1/2 hours from me, but he's down here all the time b/c he has family and friends here. So, here is the issue: I am 25 and he is 20. Now, I think he's only had one relationship in his life and he has been single for almost 2 years now. I am worried that he might not be able to handle an adult-type relationship and I am at a point now where I really need a solid relationship in my life. I am ready to settle down with someone (not talking marriage or anything, just a boyfriend). Now, he may very well want the same thing, but he is just so hard to figure out. We have talked almost every day since we met and we've visited each other a few times in the past month as well. Well, I went up to see him this past weekend and I was so confused. He was acting weird around me and I told him this. In turn, I think this made him even more intmiidated and strange towards me and he was almost hurt ny me telling him he was acting werid. We had an awesome time, but I just was so confused. My friends tell me they think he is intimidated by the fact that I am older and more expereienced (sexually, as well as in general). They think he was just nervous. Well, I thought he would confess to being nervous, so I told him that I had been nervous to see him and his response was "Well, I bet it didn't help much that I was acting so weird." That didn't help to explain anything!!! I like him and I know he likes me, so what do you think? I wish I knew what was going on in his head - he is not a player and is a really sweet guy. Maybe he just hasn't had enough relationship experience to know how to act????
Please help - any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys!!!!

He's not likely to change, no matter how wonderful you are, so don't try dating him on his terms and hoping that he'll want more.
Good luck,
Alison
I hear what you are saying... However, I guess my question is then why is he calling me before he goes to sleep at night and why are we talking every day? He calls me as much as I call him.... Also, what would you make of this: last week he called me twice in 30 minutes one night after I had told him I was out with my girlfriends for ladies night at a local bar? It was alomst like he was jealous or something? I don't know....
And why is it that all young men are not ready for a relationship? Couldn't it be that some young men are? He has expressed to me on a few occasions that he doesn't like being single (in so many words) and that he misses affection and cuddling and things like that (he's been single for 2 years now). And, why is he calling me just to say goodnight at night? Ahhhhhhh, why can't things be simple!!!