Decoding guy speak....

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Decoding guy speak....
6
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 6:29pm
If a guy does not ask you questions about past relationships or what you look for in a guy, does this mean that he's not looking for a relationship with you?

-V-

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:04pm
No why should it? Right now, he is probably checking you out before he comes on strong.

Be patient, time will tell. If you really want to know if he is looking for a relationship, why not ask him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:06pm
That's been my experience...the ones who ask the questions are the ones interested in a relationship...who needs to know if you only want to spend a month with someone?
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 8:09pm
This is too general a question to answer. Context is everything for a question like this. More details please!

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 9:52pm
Well there isn't much detail to give. I mean this guy and I have known each other for a year. We've talked on and off online. I'm not sure what we are right now. We have been talking/hanging out. I don't know, is that considered dating? I hate doing titles. But this summer, we have gotten pretty close. Not necessarily got to know each other more though. For the past six weeks he has been calling me on a daily basis. For the first two weeks we were seeing each other almost everyday then I got a job. I work during the day and he works at night...so we only talk on the phone now. We've gotten intimate but haven't had sex.

The reason I don't want to ask 'where we are going' is because I don't want to scare him away. But at the same time, do you think it's too soon to ask? I mean we've known each other for a year. We never ever talk about relationships in general so I wonder. I wonder if he's the type who doesn't want one, if he's the type that just doesn't like to talk about it. Once time though, he did mention how he likes to just 'let things happen' when we touched on the relationship subject.

Hope that's good enough for you. Thanks

-V-

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 10:11pm
A year!! Don't you think you've invested enough time in whatever you have together, so that this is THE perfect time to talk about a future? If it were me, I would waste no time bringing up the subject of "what about it, are we a couple or not?". If he waffles at all, I next say, "Well, you've had a year to look me over. If you still can't decide, I will find someone who will be sure about me. I do not want to be dating until I'm 85."

Good luck!

amjay45

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-03-2004 - 10:31pm
Hmm. I'd be very leery of proceeding further without talking about what you are each looking for in a r'ship (which is different from "where are we going"). What you want to find out is, are your r'ship goals compatible, and if so, does he still see you as a *possible* partner for that type of r'ship. It's fine to just let things happen once you've established that you want the same things, but to not find out whether that's the case doesn't seem smart on your part.

Besides, it's impossible to "scare off" a guy who is right for you, because you will want the same things and be on the same page. If he is "scared off", then he's not right for you!

Sheri

P.S. I'm curious...to me, becoming intimate and having sex are one and the same things...what's the distinction in your eyes?