Defining exclusivity?
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| Tue, 05-01-2007 - 1:06am |
just a quick question..
i've been seeing this guy for about 3 weeks now. When we first met it became pretty intense really qickly. We've seen each other almost every day, and the days we didn't, we talked on the phone or texted frequently. I've never had a guy pay so much constant attention to me for so long, partly because the intensity bothers me most of the time.. but this connection is a good one so i'm not minding it. Anyway, my question is at what point should exclusivity be discussed in such an intense relationship? Should i wait for him to bring it up, even though we both know we arent seeing anybody else? I'm a little inexperienced in this area.. but both of our facebook profiles say single, so theres gotta be some kind of step somewhere! is it still too early?
also, i've been reading around and i'm curious.... with this guy, there was no chase. I was just available, and when he wanted to hang out with me i said yes. Even though this has been alright up to this point, do you think its possible he could suddently become uninterested, because there was no effort in getting my affection?? if that makes any sense. I know in the technicality of dating, you shouldn't be available all the time to somebody. But he was, and so i was. sofar that hasn't proved any problem except me over analyzing, lol.
i greatly appreciate any responses!

I'm a little confused...how do you know you're both not seeing anyone else? If you've talked about it and agreed not to, then you've already had the exclusivity talk.
Sheri
"I was just available, and when he wanted to hang out with me i said yes. Even though this has been alright up to this point, do you think its possible he could suddently become uninterested, because there was no effort in getting my affection??" - no, sometimes things just come together nicely. When both people are interested in each other, and it does happen sometimes, he asks her out and she says yes. When I have said "chase" I mean he takes the lead in the actual asking out process, not so much cat and mouse - that is annoying and it is more of a head trip.
"partly because the intensity bothers me most of the time.. but this connection is a good one so i'm not minding it." - isn't that funny how with one person it can annoy the heck out of you, but from another person it's good?
"my question is at what point should exclusivity be discussed in such an intense relationship?" - basically it could take place at any time. If one or both parties want that type of relationship they should express it. From what I have seen it usually has taken place about one month into the relationship, but it can take place sooner, especially if you don't want the other person sleeping with someone else.
"Should i wait for him to bring it up" - you can bring it up if you feel strongly about it.
"I know in the technicality of dating, you shouldn't be available all the time to somebody." - this little technicality annoys me. If two people want to be together then they should just be together and stop playing games. However, and it is a big "however", if one senses the games about to begin, then all bets are off. And then, it is one's decision as to whether they want to play the game back for a while, just to teach the person a lesson, or just cut it off.
YG
YG
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