Depression
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Depression
| Sat, 08-21-2004 - 7:10pm |
Maybe it's not a right place to get advise but I saw posts on the Depression Support board and people there are talking about doctors and meds only. I'm not there yet.
I've never believed in depression. I thought people are making this up to excuse their weakness. And now I'm depressed. I feel it. I don't remeber where and when did it start. All I know it affects my life now. I used to be very fast learner and now I get a book and I cannot concentrate. I read and don't get it....I don't know what to do with my life career-wise...Sometimes I don't even care. I think about learning some new skills but I'm not sure if I'm able to. My brain's getting so weak. I have no passion to read (...and I used to love it) I'm self employed and I don't put any affort to find new commissions. I'm not insured and I don't have money for doctors (anyway, all they do is getting money out of your pocket). I stoped exersise and I get tired pretty fast. I'm an artist and stoped even painting......
I still believe that I can help myself I just don't know how. Please, help. Anything will do...stories, advise....
I've never believed in depression. I thought people are making this up to excuse their weakness. And now I'm depressed. I feel it. I don't remeber where and when did it start. All I know it affects my life now. I used to be very fast learner and now I get a book and I cannot concentrate. I read and don't get it....I don't know what to do with my life career-wise...Sometimes I don't even care. I think about learning some new skills but I'm not sure if I'm able to. My brain's getting so weak. I have no passion to read (...and I used to love it) I'm self employed and I don't put any affort to find new commissions. I'm not insured and I don't have money for doctors (anyway, all they do is getting money out of your pocket). I stoped exersise and I get tired pretty fast. I'm an artist and stoped even painting......
I still believe that I can help myself I just don't know how. Please, help. Anything will do...stories, advise....

Now I am 22, I have been on various different types of medication for a decade. Recently I kept forgetting to take it, and eventually I quit taking anything.
I have trained my mind, and I try not to allow myself the kind of attitude that keeps me depressed. I fight my own thoughts every day. I wasn't even seeing a doctor for depression for several months. It wasn't easy, but I was succeeding.
Recently I am getting depressed again. But I'm pretty sure its because of external things. Like right now I am between the summer and fall semesters and its too short a period to get a job, so I'm doing nothing. I don't have any friends in town, so nobody to do things with.
Anyway, my point is inactivity is dangerous to depression. Maybe working for yourself is not good while you are depressed. Right after I quit the meds I was an on-call substitue TA for a while and I could choose not to work with no consequences, except not getting payed that day. It was easy to slack off. Later I got a permanent position, and I went to work every day. I was much happier then. Keeping busy is very helpful.
Normally I would strongly urge you to find professional help, but I understand you can't afford that. I guess you'll have to learn some coping techniques. My biggest way to cope is purposeful thinking. I have a good book on that.. forgot the name now, ask me if you want to know.
In everyday life, what helped you the most? I'm not talking about big and fundamental things like positive thinking, keeping busy....I'm talking about little things that helped you during a day.