Did I expect too much?
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Did I expect too much?
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:52pm |
What do you guys think about this?
I met this guy nearly three months ago. After a few months of a crush, we finally talked to each other and exchanged numbers. We’d talk on the phone pretty frequently, nearly every other day…he was pretty upfront about the fact that he’s extra busy with his two jobs and his hobby of teaching karate. I thought to myself, “ok, I can appreciate a man with a full life…” He would always say that we needed to ‘connect’ and get together for dinner or a movie, but he’d NEVER make a definite plan. A few times, he’d call me on a day he had a few hours free and ask if I was available. I’m busy, too, and prefer at least a day’s notice to hang out. Also, I think there’s a lot to be said about a man who makes a plan to hang out (at least for the first date) as opposed to the last minute stuff. So, after three weeks, I suggest we meet for coffee…we did, and it was cool. After that, he still never asked me out. So, I stopped calling him as frequently because I figured he wasn’t really interested. A month’s gone by and we have not once been on a date that he initiated. I finally told him that, while I do like him (we have great conversations when we do talk), it seems like he’s just too busy to get to know me, or maybe it’s not important enough to him. His response, “So, that’s the conclusion you’ve come to…ok, well, good enough…” Some response, huh? No, “no, you’re wrong…I do want to get to know you…” Nothing like that.
It really does sting a bit, you know? I do like the guy; however, I don’t want to waste my time with someone who isn’t even making an effort to make time for me…
What do y’all think? Isn’t it obvious that this guy is “just not that into me”??? Or, did I expect too much?
I met this guy nearly three months ago. After a few months of a crush, we finally talked to each other and exchanged numbers. We’d talk on the phone pretty frequently, nearly every other day…he was pretty upfront about the fact that he’s extra busy with his two jobs and his hobby of teaching karate. I thought to myself, “ok, I can appreciate a man with a full life…” He would always say that we needed to ‘connect’ and get together for dinner or a movie, but he’d NEVER make a definite plan. A few times, he’d call me on a day he had a few hours free and ask if I was available. I’m busy, too, and prefer at least a day’s notice to hang out. Also, I think there’s a lot to be said about a man who makes a plan to hang out (at least for the first date) as opposed to the last minute stuff. So, after three weeks, I suggest we meet for coffee…we did, and it was cool. After that, he still never asked me out. So, I stopped calling him as frequently because I figured he wasn’t really interested. A month’s gone by and we have not once been on a date that he initiated. I finally told him that, while I do like him (we have great conversations when we do talk), it seems like he’s just too busy to get to know me, or maybe it’s not important enough to him. His response, “So, that’s the conclusion you’ve come to…ok, well, good enough…” Some response, huh? No, “no, you’re wrong…I do want to get to know you…” Nothing like that.
It really does sting a bit, you know? I do like the guy; however, I don’t want to waste my time with someone who isn’t even making an effort to make time for me…
What do y’all think? Isn’t it obvious that this guy is “just not that into me”??? Or, did I expect too much?

No, not in a general sense, but obviously you expected too much from THIS guy, since he wasn't willing or able to make spending time with you a priority. I wouldn't have been happy with what he was offering either, though, FWIW, so I don't think you were being at all unreasonable.
I think I would have phrased it differently to him though--more like, I'm really looking for someone who has more time to spend with me so this isn't going to work for me.
Sheri
mali, I'll tell you how a man who is interested in you will treat you, he will want to be seeing you as much as he can. He will try to impress you and be at his most good behaviour. You will feel that he wants you. If you have the feel that he is not interested, you might be right.
This man shows no interest from what you have said. I'd look elsewhere.
Hope you find someone soon.