Did I miss something & miss "the talk"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Did I miss something & miss "the talk"?
4
Mon, 08-16-2004 - 4:12pm
This may sound crazy but I'm not quite sure if I am now officially in a relationship. How could I have missed it? I'm just as confused as I was going in!

Had a conversation Sat night with this guy that I have been seeing and all of a sudden he starts asking me the following questions...

- What are you looking for exactly?

- What is it about me that you like?

- Are you seeing anyone else?

- Have you ever been in love?

- How many long-term relationships have you been in and how long did they last and were you the one to do most of the "dumping"?

- Do you see yourself ever getting married?

- Do you eventually want kids and if someone didn't want kids for another year to three years...would that be fair to you considering the biological clock?

I woke up the following morning wondering if I am now someone's girlfriend...what do you think??

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Nope...not unless he specifically said "I want to date you exclusively" (or something very much along those lines).

It sounds like he's feeling you out, but unless he told you want HIS answers to those questions were, it would be premature to assume anything.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
Weird, sorry if this shows up twice but I replied and it never showed up...

I had said that I understand what you're saying. I'm just really confused because it was a two-sided conversation...meaning, I ended all my responses with "and you?" And he had said:

- He wanted to get married.

- He wants kids in one to two years and wanted to make sure that that's what I wanted because it wouldn't be fair to me if I wanted them sooner.

- He was seeing other people in the beginning but not now.

- He's had two long-term relationships.

- Yes, he's been in love.

So I don't understand what transpired and if it means anything.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
I wouldn't assume anything from that, but I would probably use it as a springboard to have a talk about exclusivity.

Overall, I would say that it's positive that he brought up those topics. It shows he has serious intent, at least. How long have you been dating?

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2003
The man probably wants to know where you stand regarding these issues. Perhaps see if you both share some of his own ideas. I don't see this "talk" as dating casually or exclusively. If you didn't hear "I want to date you...." you're not dating anyone.