Did I miss something?Where did my bf go?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Did I miss something?Where did my bf go?
3
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 9:53pm
I need as many replies as I can get b/c I am really confused right now...I have been seeing this guy for 3 months now and am not sure whether to continue or not. Everything started out fine we would have lunch together about twice a week and we would see each other after work three times a week. If we didn't see each other he would call or IM me before the day was over with. About 1 month ago I noticed a change. All of a sudden I was the only one calling, IMing and stopping by to visit. The weird thing is that when we did see each other or talk he acted completely normal, as in affectionate and attentive. I backed off for awhile but got pulled right back in after bumping into him one day. I have told him twice if he wants to move on all he has to do is tell me and every time he looks completely shocked and dumbfounded that I would even say that. I know that the view from the outside is always clearer so I need as many opinions as I can get. Did i miss something? I don't know what the hell happened or what my next step should be...
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-31-2005
Wed, 11-02-2005 - 10:00pm

Trust your instincts. If you see he's pulling away, let him. We have a tendency of trailing after guys when they need space, so give him the space he's asking for (though he's not asking in words). If you see that he's not coming back, then you have your answer.


It's hard when things like this happen but some people just don't have the gumption to say that they don't want to be with you.


Back off a bit and watch what happens. Actions speak louder than words so if in a week or so he's not coming to you, you'll probably have your answer.


Hope this helps.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Wed, 11-09-2005 - 11:31pm
Thanks for the advice, right after posting I talked to him and he finally gave a reason why he had backed off (he thought we were moving too fast) I told him he should have told me sooner and I thanked him for finally telling me and not dragging it out any longer. I have already started to back off and have only seen him once (for 30 min.) in the past week and already I feel better. Although he has NOT called, IM'd, etc. I am good b/c like you said I am, in essence, getting my answer. According to him we are NOT officially over just moving slower. It will be interesting to see how long it takes him to contact me as I have taken a SOLEMN VOW TO NOT MAKE THE NEXT STEP OR MOVE!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-15-2003
Thu, 11-10-2005 - 1:29pm

true, the harder you cling the more he will wriggle away.

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