Did I Misunderstand?
Find a Conversation
Did I Misunderstand?
| Tue, 09-06-2005 - 4:16pm |
Hi all! I'm kinda confused here. I'm just getting back into dating again (I'm in my 40s) and I'm wondering if others have experienced this. I recently ran into a man I used to work with. He was married at the time and I was newly divorced so wasn't looking. We got along well and had long talks at work about alot of different things. I hadn't seen him in 8 years when we happened to run into each other in the company's cafeteria. We chatted for several minutes, exchanged office phone numbers. A week later he came to my office to visit and we had a nice chat and he told me the reason he'd come by was to see if I had plans for the weekend and if not would I like to go to a movie and dinner afterwards with him. Here's the problem, I assumed he was asking me out, as in he's paying. When we got to the theater I was surprised when he only asked for one ticket. Thank God I had cash. Same with dinner. Did I just totally misunderstand him? Is there some code I need to know? Thanks!

Hmm, that really is pretty interesting.
First of all, it definitely sounds like a date. The way that he asked you and the fact that it was just the two of you normally equals date. If it wasn't going to be a date, he should have specified before you guys went-- or while he was doing the asking.
Assuming it was a date, he definitely should have payed. Proper etiquette would be for whoever does the asking to pay. Therefore, since he asked you to both things (dinner and movie,) then he should pay.
But there are always those guys that refuse to pay for women, especially in the beginning because they don't want to spend money on someone when they really have no idea if 1) they'll enjoy themselves and therefore 2)whether it will be worth it.
Anyways, pretty confusing. Good luck figuring this one out!
~*~Gretal~*~
Thanks to both of you for responding. I didn't think I could be that dense! I don't mind paying for something on a first date or even reciprocating as in next time's on me. I'm just glad I had cash on hand or it could have been embarassing. Actually, I should have mentioned that he had ample opportunity to say this was just a friendly get together as opposed to a date as he called twice before the actual date to firm up plans, get directions to my home, etc. Both times he told me how much he was looking forward to our evening out. I'll be a little more wary if he invites me out again.
Thanks again!
I would have thought the same thing! If a person asks you out, he usually pays.