Did the talk go well?
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| Thu, 05-11-2006 - 3:42pm |
So, after dating Todd for more than 4 months we finally had the "talk" the other night. Things have been going well but I never really could tell how he really felt for me. He went away to his best friends wedding and ever since then he has been calling all the time, etc. We have spent every night together for the past week. I decided it was about time to say something about where we stood and where the relationship was going. After a few glassses of wine( I know I shouldn't have needed that but I know that I wouldn't have the guts otherwise) I don't know how it started but it was something like:
Me- "I like you a lot and enjoy spending time with you." I just don't know how you feel about me"
Him: "Of course I like you, you are fun to be with and I woudn't call you all the time. Sorry that I am not that open with my feelings."
Me: 'Don't apologize I just didn't really know what was going on."
Him: "I have never been in a situation like this and it is hard for me."
Me: "So would you consider us together than?"
Him: "I think so."
Me: "Are you my boyfriend?"
Him: "Yes"
I don't know I don't think anything bad happened and it actually went well but maybe I am being insecure, I don't know what more reassurance I need. He has never had a serious relationship and I told him that I was trying to be patient. He is honestly the sweested guy I have ever been with, kind, caring, generally all around a good guy. I guess I am just getting myself worked up. What do you guys think?

I think you should stop worrying about it. He has said he's your boyfriend, and I presume that's the answer you wanted. I don't know why he said it's "hard" being in that kind of relationship with you. Maybe it was just a poor choice of words. But for the time being, I think you should avoid asking any more questions about the state of your relationship.
Just pay attention to the way you feel and the way he treats you. You think he's a great guy, and it sounds like you're getting the attention and closeness you desire from him. So what more do you need, right now?
Relax and enjoy your status as girlfriend/boyfriend and the time you spend together. You've got several more months of getting to know each other before it's time to talk about moving to the next level.
Welll...personally, I would not have the information I would want to have at the 4 month point from that conversation. At 4 months, I'd want to know:
1, are we exclusive (and do we have the same definition of exclusive)? Him saying he is your boyfriend MAY connote exclusivity to him but I'd want to spell that out, personally.
2, what type of relationship is he looking for *in general* (not with me, it's too soon for him to know that), and if we are on the same page, has he ruled me out as a potential partner for that type of relationship?
But maybe you've had other conversations that have covered that ground?
Sheri