A different approach?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
A different approach?
11
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 2:15am
I was actually browsing through yahoo personals in my area, and there are some women that caught my eye. Im thinking about putting up a profile with a few pics of me, to start new friends with women.

Any suggestions on what to put down?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-25-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 5:15am
People who are on personals are generally looking for relationships of some sort. If you honestly just want chicks to hang out with, then stay clear of any profiles that mention anything more than just looking for friends.

Also, ya know you gotta pay to contact them, right? ;-)

Anyway, I agree, it seems quite apparent you need a different approach to finding platonic female friends. However, if, like I said in my other post to you, something you're doing unconsciously is sending mixed signals, it wouldn't matter if you met them on a bus, or on the net, you'll still be leaving broken hearts in your wake.

Um...what else was I gonna say? Oh yeah...lol....you could always put your profile up with some pics and post the link here so we can tell you if it works or not. :-p

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:04am
May I ask, why are you so anxious to have female friends? It doesn't seem to be working out for you, so why bother?

I must say, going online is the WORST idea you could have. You are only going to meet women who want a relationship which means you are going to disappoint all of them.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:11am
If you're just looking for friends, then that's a BAAAAD idea. People are on dating sites to DATE, not make friends.

The best place to make friends of either gender is through shared activities. Do you do anything besides go to clubs ;-)? That's where you should be looking if your intention is truly to make friends.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2003
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 11:48am
I'm going to have to agree on this one. Any one who's signed up on a dating site, even if they just have "looking for friends..." in their bio, isn't really JUST looking for FRIENDS. They are looking for a friend who will become MORE. They say *friends* so that if there's a creep they meet, they can blow him off. Do you understand that?

Photobucket

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-21-2004
Tue, 08-17-2004 - 10:48pm
Yes i understand, but in my profile i'll put down "looking for female friends ONLY"..and i see alot of profiles by women who say they're looking for friends only so that's who i would pursue for good friendship

Im not anxious to have more female friends. I love females and they are good to look at, but i only want them as friends

All this started after they noticed i became single again 5 months ago. I never mentioned to 1 that i dumped my x. Most of them have became aggressive with me when they found out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:41am
How about this for a headline:

"I don't want a relationship."

MB

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-29-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:52am
Maybe since you "dumped" your girlfriend a few months ago, you should just hang out with guys for a while.

It doesn't sound like you have much regard for women anyway.

I would suggest that when you can treat women friends with the same respect you do male friends then you can try it but not before.

Friends are people who care a great deal about the feelings of their friend.

It sounds like you want the attention of the opposite sex without giving anything back.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-03-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 10:42am
I know you want female friends, you have already said so. My question is: why? I've had many male friends over the years, some of them exes. I did not seek out a friendship specifically, it just happened naturally. They have been great pals to me. AS well, a lot of men I've met have NOT become friends, that also happened naturally.

When I hear someone say that they are not getting what they want in relationships, I have to ask them: what is it you are bringing to the table? What makes you think you would be a good friend to a woman? Why are all these women missing the fact that you are a friends-only guy? It has to be because you are not letting them know. And it doesn't help to put the blame on them for not seeing.

Please don't take this as an attack on you. It's only my opinion that, if something is wrong, you have to look inside for an answer not on the internet. Do you honestly feel that you could be a good pal to a woman?

Something to think about.

As always, I wish you good luck in your search. I hope you find what you are looking for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 2:43pm
I belong to yahoo personals myself. I would state clearly "just looking to meet new friends" but the truth be told here--you are going to have the same problem you are having now=they will start off as friends and then want more--since 99.5% of online dating is about finding a relationship. Most people are not on there to "just" make friends. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2004
Fri, 09-17-2004 - 5:30pm
I've been reading allot of your posts and something just does not add up...From what I've gathered, you are either:

(1) A total player and this is just your approach on "catching the ladies"; or

(2) Someone who is totally petrified of women for whatever reason (fear of your sexual abilities per se, etc.); or

(3) Someone who has not "come out of the closet yet" or isn't sure yet about his own sexuality; or

(4) Someone who is rather disturbed by women, perhaps because of something that happened in your childhood and/or a bad relationship experience.

I can understand having one or two female friends but your NEED to have all these female friends and not once have you mentioned any attraction to at least one of them, leads me to believe what I mentioned above.

It's just not normal, sorry but there's a reason people say "men and women cannot be friends" because 9 times out of 10, there is some form of attraction and you don't seem to ever get to that point with any of these women "friends" you speak of. Why is that?

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having female friends or that men and women cannot be just friends and it be strictly platonic, because I have some male friends where it is strictly platonic but I would say the majority of them, would hook up with me given the chance but only if I ALLOWED them to cross that line, of course I never will and I've made that clear to them which is why we are able to continue friendships with one another.

Only you know the real deal so good-luck to you!

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