Different Definitions of Monogamy - How to Set Boundaries
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|Sat, 06-01-2013 - 9:16pm|
...so I have been dating an amazing man for the past few months and things have been going well. We enjoy each other's company (when we do get to spend time together), and this had been refreshingly pleasant. HE recently brought up a conversation about where things were going with us and he stated that he believed in monogamy. I was happy to hear this and proceeded to stop dating other people (I didn't have many prospects before, but found that I had no desire to date anyone else).
During a phone conversation, he mentioned that he would be seeing one of his friends of the opposite sex over the weekend, and at first I was OK with that. I have no problem if he shares a meal or catches a movie with someone, but he raised an eyebrow when he stated that he this would be an overnight arrangement...at a beach house. I wasn't exactly sure how to respond openly to him, but inside I was screaming. He SAYS they've been friends for years, blah, blah, blah, but I'm just uncomfortable with the situation. I did ask how he would handle things if the situation were reversed and he said it wouldn't bother him... that he trusts me.
So, it's clear that our definitions of monogamy may be different (shame on me for not clarifying). The thing is, he likes that I'm "laid back", and though I don't want to lose my "chill chick" status, I certainly don't want to pretend to be OK with something that bothers me.
I want to approach the situation with as little emotion and with as much thought as possible. Any suggestions on how to get the conversation started?