A different man problem, physchology?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
A different man problem, physchology?
3
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 3:08pm

I live in a flat while studying at uni with 6 people that I didnt know before moving in. Some of you may have read my earlier posts and will know that when i moved in I had recently been dumped by text by my boyfirend overseas ( a story in itself).

Shortly after moving in I formed a bond with one of the guys and we began to act as a couple in secret so not to cause problems with other flat members. He wanted a proper relationship where everyone knew but i had just come out of a relationship and didnt. He then formed male freinds and started going out on the pull (although I don't think he was successful) and therefore was not too keen on forming a relationship after all. We decdided we both still really like each other though and kept things the way they were until it gradually and mutually faded.

But now he's nasty to me and insults me. I dont see him anymore except in the communal kitchen, he no longer comes to my room and then is horrible and takes the mick out of me all the time in front of other people. Worse still he "flirts" with my best friend touching her and calling her "dear" and even jokingly saying he loves her. Bearing in mind this is someone he couldnt stand up until now and positively hated her. She lives next door and I hear him knock on her door all the time and then spend ages in there together. She just acts normally and says they are getting on better now and he comes and talks to her alot. I can not see her being attracted to him (or even him being attracted to her really). He spends more time with her than anyone else.

The combination of this and his nastiness to me is getting me down. I sort of miss the closeness. I ignore his behaviour but would like advice on how to counteract it? and suggestions as to why he is behaving this way?

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2003
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 4:14pm

who knows really, why he is acting that way? You know what they say, that there is a think line between Love and Hate. I knew a guy once who couldnt stand this particular girl, I mean he would talk at length as to how annoying and silly she was....well years later HE MARRIED her!! You can't believe how utterly shocked and surprised I was, till this day I can't believe HE was the one crying at the wedding.LOL!

He could also be trying to make you jealous, but I think it taking to far don't you think, I mean hanging out with her and stuff??? Also, attraction changes, one minute you think you hate someone the other you are in love, case in point...my friend :)

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Tue, 11-23-2004 - 4:25pm
Thats confirming my worst fears lol. I think mayb he likes me but could it not just be a combination of getting on better with her and making me jealous?
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-15-2004
Wed, 11-24-2004 - 4:37am
Any ideas as to whats going on in his mind?