Do all girls want a "title"
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Do all girls want a "title"
| Mon, 04-19-2004 - 10:22am |
This guy I have been dating seriously for about two months was telling me how he and his best friend (who I have met more than once) were at the strip clubs.. not a big deal.. however he was telling me how his friend was tryin to get him to hit on all the girls there... Now he was telling me, so I am not worried that he DID.. just that his friend encouraged him.. knowing we have been dating (monogomously) for a couple months...So when I said something to him about it... he said "oh boy.. you want a TITLE".. like "girlfriend", or "significant other" .. a TITLE.. meaning more than just friends i guess???.. I don't really think that I understand what he means.. Of course i want a title.. don't we all??? eventually at least? .. I know that he, nor I are ready for anything like marriage-serious type relationship... but i dont think that "girlfriend" is all that far of a stretch?... Please advise.. thanks...
BTW- two months, and seeing each other pretty close to three-four- sometimes five times a week.... and we are both living with parents right now (27 & 26).. he because he just finished college, and I because I just finished with an eight year relationship that ended badly. but either way.. two months, and he doesnt want me to meet his parents???? WHATS UP WITH THAT??? He's met mine..... ??... should this bother me ?
kelly

He sounds a little immature and so don’t his friends, trying to encourage him to hit on other women…be careful of men and the company they keep.
I don’t think all women need a “title” however we need to know that we are in a committed exclusive relationship, I don’t care if he introduces me as his girlfriend or not, I prefer to be introduced by my first name…but as long as I know that he and I are on the same page of what our relationship means to both of us. Meaning committed, exclusive and heading in a long term direction.
As to your first question, I don't know about "all girls" wanting a title. But I think that most women want to have a clear understanding of what kind of relationship they are in. Meaning, are we dating exclusively, sexually monogamous, do we have the same goals in terms of FUTURE marriage possibilities? I don't need my guy to go around introducing me as his "girlfriend," but I definitely need to know that I am the ONLY woman in his life, that he has feelings for me, and that he sees me as someone who could be his "life partner"... (he is considering marriage for us, down the road)
If it's important to you, you could have the "are we exclusive?" conversation. You should especially make sure that you are sexually exclusive. Tell him you don't need a label, but you do need to understand the relationship boundaries. If he is unwilling to be exclusive, then you will know that you are endangering yourself and wasting your time by only dating him.
Good luck.