Do I Break His Heart, or not?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-03-2004
Do I Break His Heart, or not?
1
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:00pm


I've been involved with the same man for nearly a year. I'm 40, he's 32. The age difference is not an issue to either of us. We've been living together for the past 6 months. Sex was great, at first, but is nearly non-existent now - he has told me I can't satisfy him, but that the sex doesn't matter because he loves other things about me. He suffers from depression - he lost both parents and went through a bad divorce within a 3 year period. He's been through 4 jobs since I've known him (worked a total of about 4 mos out of the last 12). We struggle financially because of his lack of continuous employment. He loves me desperately and I love and care for him deeply, but I've having a difficult time seeing a long term future because of his instability. My life's been on hold while he's struggling and the holiday season is coming up. I feel like I need to move on, but it will break his heart and I don't want to hurt him. He wants to work through the issues, but I don't think I have it in me anymore. Is there any reason to stick it out? Any advise is welcome.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Wed, 11-03-2004 - 1:06pm
I may sound heartless but I don't think you two have a good relationship, you are an emotional and financial crutch for him. He doesn't like having sex with you, he may not need to have sex, but you seem to need it.

Have you considered counseling? If not, I'd be out of there, sometimes love just isn't enough.