Do I need to get over it?
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| Sat, 04-03-2004 - 1:03am |
Usually it involves a lot of drama and I have to stand up because I am disrespected. Now, I have the cajones to stand up to someone who is is disrespecting me, but the problem will be the relationship. For some reason, I can not go out with these girls again. Even if they say I am sorry.
For example, the cell phone goes off, and they say "I have to take this." Even if they say sorry after I say why did you do this, my sexual appetite for them goes way down. Another is if I have to talk them out canceling the date.
Basically, if it is rude and obnoxious at the early stages of dating, I RARELY see these girls again. And it is by my choice. They will call me, but I say I am not interested.
So do I need to get over it or is it their IMMATURITY?
Let me add, I can tolerate tests that DO NOT DISRESPECT me.

As for talking a person out of canceling--the minute you notice you're trying to convince someone of something, step back and stop yourself. There's no reason to talk someone into something...
Back to you - why not give the benefit of the doubt and assume that the woman who takes another call while she is with you is not testing you - she might lack manners (I do not like when people take non emergency calls when we are out together) and you can tell her that it bothers you when she does this, but to pout and say you don't want her anymore sexually is just silly, IMHO.
I am talking about a date that is planned. If she cancels to be with friends or has a prior social engangement, I do not like that because it cheapens me. Even if I talk her out of it, it is not the same. I ddi not mean the sexual reference to be that harsh.
Someone brought to my attention, it can be an attention grabber on her part. Looking back that makes sense. After I find out the real reason, I think the best way to handle it is to say I do not like it because I want to be with you. If she does not back down, I would have to talk to her only when she understands me from my point of view.
Before, I was not date smart. I did not realize passivity was bad in these circumstances. Boy, would they go for the kill. But that proves mind games do not work and can be misconstrued.