Do I tell him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2004
Do I tell him?
1
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 4:35pm
Hi,

I've posted this on a few boards, but nobody has give any advice, so I figured I'd try here. I'd appreciate any advice please. Here's my situation -

I was with my ex-bf for 4 years. We broke up 1 1/2 years ago because we both needed to grow up and mature. Through that time, we have remained friends. We've both dated other people, but nothing has every worked out. I can't speak for him, but I know that a lot of my relationships haven't worked out because I still had feelings for my ex. And recently, I've come to the realization that I'm still truly in love with him.

So here's my question...Do I tell him? And if so, how?

I don't want to ruin the relationship/friendship that we have now, but I honestly want him back. I am still head-over-heels in love with him. I can't get him out of my mind. We had our problems, but most of them stemmed from the fact that we were young when we met, and our relationship just never matured. Am I crazy for thinking that we could work? Should I just keep my feelings to myself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-22-2003
In reply to: debzy2004
Tue, 06-29-2004 - 7:14pm
Ah I wrote a nice response, lost it.

Wha tI was writing before i erased it... was dependso n your break up as well as how much you value that friendship. Truth is, the friendship is already strained because of your feelings. Whether or not he knows it. So theres really no going back.

What you must do is work out the feelings and figure out if its something you truly beleive will work out if he does returnt he feelings. if you believe it will work out - then you shoudl tell him. I think you've thought it through, now its just a matter of figuring out how much you value the friendship.

In finance, high risks have greater returns than low risk. In love, I believe this is true too. So im all for telling him unless you truly believe you can't live without him as a friend.

An ice breaker for you to do is just say casually - so wouldn't it be funny if ended up together? see how he responds. if he responds positively that could give you some insight in how hes feelings. But the best way to find out is to tell him and see what he says.

Good luck... very nerve breaking I know!