Do I trust him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Do I trust him?
7
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 12:51am
Hi there

I have just started seeing this guy (about 2 weeks now).

Last night I was out dancing in a club with friends and ran into him, he was out with his friends. We decided to spend the night with our own group of friends and to catch up throughout the night with a quick 'hi'.

Then, towards the end of the night, I saw him at the other end of the dancefloor with a group of guys and girls. He was dancing close to one girl and gave her a bit of a hug. At first I thought, well thats ok, he has close mates who are girls.

But then I look over again and he steps towards her, puts his hands on either side of her face and kisses her on the lips. It wasn't a long passionate kiss (no tongue) at least from what I could see, but it didn't look like a 'friend' kiss.

At that stage I got upset and went home without talking to him.

So far I haven't heard from him, but I am pretty sure he has just cheated on me (as far as my definition of cheating goes).

However, I have the feeling that when I confront him, he may say she is just a friend.

I need some thoughts as to what people think about this type of kiss??

Could this be a friend kiss? Or does everyone think he's a player?

Your advice is appreciated

thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:10am
I noticed that you referred to him as 'a guy that you've been seeing for two weeks now' and NOT your boyfriend. I believe that he's free to date, kiss and yes, even sleep with other women (as you are free to date, kiss and sleep with other men)...this is called playing the field. Just because you've gone on one or four dates with someone does NOT mean that you are dating exclusively or even that you are a couple. Until you have the talk about being exclusive and monogomous, it's very naive of you to assume it. She could very well be a friend...a friend that he occasionally hooks up with or a friend that he just met three weeks ago that he's having fun with or an ex who is now his friend. I don't know what to make of his kissing this other girl. I think you should ask him about it, pay attention to your gut reaction and go from there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 1:13am
I don't know in which country you live, but is it customary there for assumed exclusivity immediately upon starting to date? Most people in North America would say that you are both free to date others and to do as you wish until you discuss and mutually agree to an exclusive relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-16-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 2:41am
Sorry, I should have made it clear, we have talked about this and agreed to be exclusive...
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 4:50am
wow then, he screwed up if you are exclusive. Ouch! Sorry to hear that. What you do now-is up to you. Even if you weren't exclusive yet--most men wouldnt be that rude to do it in front of you! Ive never had that happen at least. Just go with your gut and take it from there.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:58am
You don't say whether or not you and he have discussed being an exclusive couple. If you two are just dating (it's only been 2 weeks) then you certainly have a right to be upset, but he's not cheating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-20-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 7:59am
With that information, then I would discuss with him about the events of the evening and let him explain before you turn into the jealous girlfriend.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-26-2004
Thu, 09-16-2004 - 9:41am
Well...he knew you were there...right?
Lilypie Baby Days